2002-03-25 | 8:58 p.m.

I'm not an Oscar Award show hater. No, honestly not at all. Hell I'd like the gift bag for starters. I used to watch it with glee all the time. But honestly on this one I just didn't care about any of the films nominated, and it seemed just a little too over the top...too pretentious. But as usual I have my comments so here are my thoughts on what I watched of the award show:

* Sydney Poitier is just Mr. Class in a tuxedo. He's truly in a class by himself. Why is it that the older actors wear tuxedos so much better than their contemporaries? And his measured speech managed to touch on the importance of the trails he blazed and the ability of good cinema to change the world, without veering into the kind of overblown sentimentality. What a man.

* Halle Berry didn't really move me. But she did go on for far too long. I haven't seen her movie either, but it does seem as if politics was the reason for her win. Obviously there was a door that needed to be broken down. I am honestly glad that they did break it down, I just wish it had been from someone I thought was deserving of the award. 73 years with no african american woman winning best actress -- it had to end. Obviously she's genuinely appreciative and thrilled to be the one to do it. Still, she went on for far too long.

* Where was Will Smith & Sean Penn? Were they already drinking at the after party knowing that they weren't going to be getting bubkiss? Oh no wait, there's a reason for Will's disappearance act.

* Didn't Uma's breasts need their own seat?

* Jennifer Lopez apparently has now decided that looking like she was in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane is far better than hoochie mama wear. The poor sod sitting behind her probably wanted to kick the back of her seat all night long.

* Gwenyth Paltrow look exceptionally bad. What was she wearing? And her make up and hair - yuck. And word to the wise, letting your boobies hang free is never a good thing.

* I'm happy to see the git A.K.A. Russell Crowe didn't win.

* I like Jennifer Connelly. I think she's very beautiful. But did she have to wear a khaki fringed bin bag for the event? Actually more like dust rags. Someone should really talk to her stylist because they fucked up on that one.

* How long are the awards - 6, 8, 12 hours long?

* I think one of the best things of the night was Ryan Phillipe who upon being asked by his wife Reese if she could read the name of the winner, he said, �you make more than I do; go ahead.� (Talk about burn)

* Did Glenn Close & Donald Sutherland piss off Oscar people? If not why did they work the academy snack bar backstage?

* I thought that Ryan O'Neill was supposed to be close to death, and yet there he was.

* The mini documentary was cool. The Owen Wilson thing was good. Then again whatever he does is generally funny. (�Wild cat�rawr��)

* John Travolta & Sharon Stone? Yep, I think they both did crack backstage and cried when they realized they were both about twenty years past their prime.

* Whoopi got in some pretty good digs while I was watching. Her quip about the ridiculousness of the absence of white actors in the clip of actors praising Sydney Poitier was pretty good. But overall she bores me. I prefer Steve Martin. He's much wittier.

* Tom Cruise opens the awards with a somber speech for which he can't be bothered to either shave, comb his hair, or find a shirt that fits.

* Benicio del Toro seemed either half asleep or stoned, although I think that's just how he talks. It�s vastly amusing though.

* Although I never tuned into it reading this online is still damn funny.

And that�s it. I�m sure there�s a whole lot more I could say about them but it�s either been said or will be said. Besides if I really start in on this I could be very brutal.

No wait, one more thing...feast your eyes on this gem. Yep I'm biting my lip as I type. Not gonna do it, nope, not gonna do it.

Later�



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