2000-05-02 | 01:29:43

I feel like there's a bunch of little pieces of me scattered everywhere. I'm trying to do everything for everyone and failing miserably. I'm not feeling good about myself and I haven't for awhile. It's sick and yet I still keep turning on this vicious cycle. It sucks.

Today was my long day at school and there were moments where I wish I could have shoved sporks into my eyes. Why sporks? Because I didn't want a quick and painless death I wanted to agonize over my death. (Melodrama much?!)

But I'm happy to state that E Girlie Girl is going to pose for me. She's coming over Wednesday during the day and will happily pose for me while I shoot a few roles. I need to make excellent prints this time though because it's starting to become crunch time and I need to get my shit focused tight. I can't be procrastinating and shooting the shit as much as I have been. So I'm organizing myself this week to finish up as much as I possibly can so that come next week everythign will be done and all I have to worry about are the finals coming my way.

I can do this, I know I can.

I have to remind myself tomorrow to make sure I find out exactly when I graduate because it looks as if my uncle might be making the trip up from Buenos Aires ot see me do so. I think it's going to be absolutely brilliant if he does come because I love him and well, because he is the coolest uncle. We share the same insane mind and it's nice when he comes into town.

I have an 8:30 AM class tomorrow which I don't want to attend but I have to nonetheless. SUCKS! Maybe I can wake up early if I get to bed early and actually make myself some toast. If not it's just a mad dash to school after chugging down my milk. And everyone knows a glass of milk is not a good way to start the day. (I'm turning into my mother - EEEKKK!)

Sometimes I wish I had more time during my day, but then I realize that the extra time I would have would be filled up with meaningless activities such as added studying and running around for errands. It wouldn't be used for something good, say like SLEEP. It would still be used to finish up all my school stuff. And so maybe it is better that there aren't more than 24 hours in a day...

OK I'm babbling and I have to stop - paper to write.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t