2000-10-24 | 23:19:34

I have no patience right now, or whatever I have lfet is seriously drawing to an end. I hate my job. I hate my boss. I hate the immense load of work I am handed and expected to do even if it means I have to work more than 2 hours of overtime and not get paid for it. I am being worked like a horse and not getting paid enough. Today was just a spectacular case of how wrong I am for this job. Everyone puts so much pressure on me and they forget that they have to pick up for themselves and not just hand me EVERYTHING, and I do mean EVERYTHING.

To top it all of I hate my hair. Its too short and everywhere I turn and look there's someone with long hair or hair the way I used to have. I'm so disgusted that most of the time I just look at the floor as I walk. Its easier than getting frustrated while I'm supposed to be out for lunch.

Maybe tomorrow things will perk up. Maybe I won't want to pick up a gun and go on a shooting spree, maybe there is a god. Who knows? All I do know is that somethings got to give because I can't deal much longer. I just need a break. One lousy break. And I think I deserve it. I'm a good daughter, an excellent friend and I give homeless people on the street change whenever I can which is often. So I think I qualify for a break. And I'm not asking for much, just one light at the end of the tunnel which will allow me to bear the suffering so that I know at the end it will all be worth it.

I sound so fucking desperate but I'm feeling it big time. As for now I am going to lay down in bed, have a drink and pretend this day never happened.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t