2001-02-15 | 14:07:38

What's wrong with wanting more? Seriously? I mean I've been dancing this wicked dance. One step here, another there. And I failed to realize that there are some things that I should do. That there are some things that I don't have to do. That I really don't need to take shit from certain people because those people are just unhappy with themselves so ergo they spread the loser feelings throughout their circles.

Well cry me a river but I'm not sinking in their ships. I'm grabbing my life by the balls and dropping shit that I don't need or want and really risking stuff. Because I haven't risked anything in a long while. I've been cageing myself for fear that if I left certain boxes Iw ould be doomed. But I'm not. Life is about taking chances and not sitting idly by. So I'm not going to do that again, at all.

I feel better by just saying and thinking that. All I need to do is make sure I act it out. Make sure I do the things that my heart and brain tells me to do and not what my fear instincts tell me not to.

On a little sidebar if I have to hear Shaggy's 'It Wasn't Me' song again I will groan with distaste. I hate that song now. I mean it is OVERPLAYED. It was pretty funny the first few times I heard it. Now I'm all like, 'Make it stop...pleasemake it stop!'. I hate it. Really. I do.

I've almost finished with Namedroppe. I actually have 2 other books to read after that which I purchased along with it. I have to say that so far I give this book 2 tubby thumbs up. Because you know I'm such a HUGE book critic and all. Still it's a good one.

This friday I am going to finally go see 'Hannibal' with a friend of mine. FINALLY. I mean It's taken all I've got not to go see it so far. Which lemme say is something big. But thankfully we're going to go see it together sometime Friday and all will be right in my tiny 'Hannibal' obsessed heart. The funny thing is that everyone goes for the storyine. I've read the book. I know the story. I go for the fact that I am probably completely in love with Sir Anthony Hopkins. But not love in that level of I want to fuck him. More in the level of I wish I could sit by his side on one of those long road trips he is so fond of taking and let him allow me to listen to his stories and musings and all of that. Because frankly the man is a genius. So yeah, I'm going for the man and not the story. Yes I'm not ashamed to admit it. Now if it was someone liek David Duchovny or Jeremy Irons, well then I would fully admit that I want to snog him a bit and then have my way with them. *lol* But there you go. At least I'm honest.

Oh and on the work thing last night. Doesn't look like I'm screwed anymore. Looks like some jackass just doesn't know how to deal. Thank god. I thought I was going to be packing up my shit. Not that I think I would really care that much but hey before I do that I'd like to get a good job with a better salary. So yeah, things are diverted and once again all is well. My heart can now go back to its steady beat and not the rapid 'what the fucks going on here' beat it had yesterday. *lol*

Alright back to work I go.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t