2001-03-26 | 10:23 p.m.

Geocities no longer allows remote hosting of graphics. So if you're wondering why I don't have that photo of me on the top left corner of this space then that's the reason. If I want a pic of me to show up I have either got to buy the diaryland gold package or find someone with webspace that allows remote hosting for little me. Since I'm a) crackwhore broke, and b) don't know anyone with said space - I have just decided that if anyone really is so damn curious to see me then check on the damn cam link.

I wrote an email to Jeff Dumas . I don't know why. I just thought it had to be done. The man see's beauty in certain people that it really does shock me. There's one picture from his galllery that just oozes sex. And it's not because it's Angelina Jolie. And it's not because she is probably barely clad under the covers. He just managed to get this look on her face. One of "I know you want to fuck me but you can't - just stand there and look" look. And I wish it was me, because maybe I need a photo of me representing the fact that I can be sexy. Anyways he's brilliant, and I'm glad I surfed into his site and had the gut's to write him an open and honest email on how that certain photo moved me to actually write him words. Because it did and wow. And how nice was he that he emailed me back and thanked me back for enjoying his work - like he had to thank me...pfshh...he's now found a great fan.

I've been listening to a lot of Moby for the time being. Track number 17 (The Sky Is Broken) for the most part. I think it's because specifically this song soothe's these raw nerves inside of me. It's this measure of balance and sadness he has in it. Like he's begging for someone to answer him back but he's left there in this deep dark ocean on a small boat and all there is around him is darkness and a cold wind. This song makes me ache for some reason. And yet I still listen to it. I listen when I'm taking a bath, wnen I'm lying in bed almost asleep, when I'm walking on my way back and forth to work. I keep listening to this song and this cd. I like Moby. Maybe I want Moby. But maybe I just want Moby next to me in bed whispering this song as the darkness surround's us.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t