2001-05-31 | 10:04 p.m.

I must be on fire. I am totally feeling the love. Everyone wants a piece. And I'm not being shy about it like I used to be. I can admit that I'm more Charlotte then Carrie. But it's funny how if you lose control once you want a taste of it some more. Not that I'm getting down and dirty at all. I'm just getting a lick of what's to come. And you know I'll come back ticking...

I had this huge conversation today about men, and how I used to feel the need to find a man to marry. To settle down, buy a home and have kids with. And I'm amazed I used to think of this. I would seriously lay in bed at night and wonder when it would happen. When my 'prince charming' would come and sweep me off my feet. But you know it's not happening. Reality check - HIGHLY doubtful that it ever did and ever will to ANYONE. Well apart from Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella and Snow White. But then those are all fairy tales and getting one of those in real life is just so living in denial. (And I'm not talking about a pretty river in Egypt.) So yeah...erm...not gonna happen. And it's not like I want it to happen at all anymore. Sure believing in that is still peachy, but really trusting in it is not in my bag anymore. Perhaps that is why I am so happy now? That I am not in any pressure to look and think of every man that I meet as a potential. (Of course the fact that I've come to this conclusion also leaves me free to do a lot more damage.)

No baggage here I tell you! I'm soaking in the sunlight and I just want more. Like always more is better than less.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t