2001-07-30 | 12:40 a.m.

I'm back. And I miss Brazil already!

Good lord this weekend was a rush. A total exhilarating, and much needed rush. I only wish I had had the possibility to have stayed much longer. Alas I didn't. But let me just state right now that two days and a half in Rio just sucks big time. It's a tease of what I could have. It's bittersweet. Like look at all the candy little girl but hey - don't fucking touch it! Going back made me miss my life there. Made me miss the family, the constant outpouring of love, the sun, the beach, the food, the laughter and the smiles. At the same time though, I also trust my fate to bring me back there again. I probably won't ever live there again because I've become so Americanized, and I do enjoy my New York City life. But I think I'll go back for pleasure. Because there's a LOT of pleasure to be had there. And I don't doubt that I won't seek that out again soon. Being there fed my heart and soul and god it felt just marvelous. Absolutely marvelous.

The flight to Rio was great. By chance I flew first class. And let me just comment on first class. I will never go back to coach or economy again. I've tasted the best and I sure as hell am not going to settle for anything less now. Champagne offered immediately when I sat down. Good food. Hell I was even able to fall asleep on the comfy chair. Feet propped up. Warm blanket and a wonderful pillow. Add the fact that the chair contoured to your body and you couldn't get anything better. Of course the flight fucked me over coming back because I came back on the regular crappy section of the plane thus making my whole flight back to New York horrendous. My knees were cramped up. My back ached. But hey, going to Rio was the bomb. And frankly I'm going to be doing all my air travel first class from now on. Yes its more expensive but trust me, it's well worth it.

The wedding was great as weddings go. So many people. So many consumed libations at the reception! At one point of the night I was inundated with people that knew me since I was a kid. Then there were the other people that told me to send my parents hugs and kisses and all that other hoopla. Meanwhile I had no clue who the majority of these people were but I still smiled, nodded, and laughed at what I can only assume were jokes.

There was lots of dancing going on at the wedding also. And I am just so happy that I wore my comfy shoes. Had I not my feet would have killed in the wee hours of the morning. (And they were wee...I ended up coming home with an aunt as the sun was coming up). It was incredibly fun though. Brazilian music poured out of the speakers and people were just really dancing, hell even sambando. Which is a big difference because when I go out dancing it's usually to some club so it's a hella lot different hearing samba or Brazilian music pouring out and also feeling the love within the whole crowd as we all sing along. And this justifies my point once again. Brazilians know how to have a good time. We know good food. Good music. And we are just a happy group of people. Yes we are a third world country and yes we have a lot of shit to do to become better. But as a society I think we are fabulous. The Brazilian society is happy. I mean you feel it. It's like a wave in the ocean. When it hits you you become completely wet. And you totally feel it. And I think our culture is like that. We are soaked with joy. We all know we're not what we can be but we're all having a blast trying to get there. And this happiness totally rubs off on people. It's rubbed off on me and I still feel good. I feel it in my bones.

I ended up meeting the bride for the first time at the wedding and then at the reception. She's a total sweetheart and has now become a cousin. My nephew is adorable. He's grown a lot and become taller since the last time I saw him. He's also a little chubby but he's adorable. I kept biting his tummy and ass and he kept laughing like I was tickling him to death. And let me just state that nothing feels better having his arms around me hugging me hard and calling me tia jo. Yeah family. Family. Family. I can't get enough of it. From my adorable grandmother who I couldn't stop hugging or kissing to my oldest cousin who's technically more like my sister, and who I teased back and forth with. I missed these people. The cousins on the other side of the family, my uncle, my aunts and uncles that really aren't because they are just good friends of the family therefore making them all a vast part of the extended family. The love. I swear the outpour of love was refreshing and invigorating.

I loved it all. And I miss it all already. The smells, the sights, everything. And I'm going back. Really I am. I'm going to save every penny I have to make the trip longer. And I'm going to make sure to stop in Buenos Aires to see the uncle and aunt also. And Sao Paulo to see the nephew and niece I have yet to know. And I'm going to do it soon. I'm going to do LA and then Brazil once again. Because I need to go back. I need to be there. I need to relax and live that life there for a bit. And I need to go back and stay for more than just a week. Next time I go I'm taking 2 weeks off and RELAXING under the summer sun while drinking a choppe and eating a pasteu or croquette. And I don't know how to translate those in English but just know that they are tasty and delicious and your mouth would water for them too had you had them previously.

And now. Now I will take a shower, go to bed and sleep. Because it's MUCH needed sleep. There's a lot more to say about the trip but I'm exhausted. I need time for myself.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t