2002-02-26 | 6:32 p.m.

My love for The White Stripes keeps getting bigger and bigger. I've already turned 2 friends into lovers of their music, but then again who wouldn't be? They're just amazing. And while I'm talking about music I really have to stop my obsession with the Foo Fighters along with my love for Dave Grohl & Taylor Hawkins. It's getting sick people. I keep having all these strange and yet yummy dreams of dating them both while they are competing for my love. I wake up all cranky because its not a reality - well at least not mine.

I've come a long way. Or at least I think I have. Today I was told that I was smart, self-assured, and completely unapologetic about being myself. Which is totally how I feel about myself lately. I'm beginning to realize I can be one hell of a woman. I've taken baby steps to be where I'm at now and I'm going to be taking more steps to get where I want to be, but it sure feels good hearing what I feel about myself being spoken out loud by people who see me day in and day out. They see it too and I see it and suddenly things click into place and things are moving along at a pace I can handle. A pace I want to handle. And if it quickens or slows, well I can still handle it.

What I can't handle right now is the pain I've been in for the past 2 days because Aunt Flo chose to visit me now. Visit - more like fuck me over. I've been popping pills like candy and adding a heating pad to my lower back and ice to my head. It doesn't help that I've been in migraine hell since yesterday when I woke up with a splitting migraine. Wanting to do nothing but pull the covers over my head I counted to ten and got out of bed and went ahead with my day. Anyone who's had a severe migraine knows what a bitch it is to take a shower while having one. Yesterday - just like today, I felt as if millions of needles were pin pricking my scalp. The shower couldn't have ended sooner. Usually I don't bitch and whine about me surfing the crimson wave that much. It's a fact of life. Something every woman goes through - so I suck it up and just try to forget about it. But good lord so far this month has been horrendous. If I had a time out card I would be using it today. Waving it about like a frantic idiot. Because I'm in pain, and frankly sitting in this chair in my office is not helping. Then again I'm not sure laying in bed with a heating pad would do me any good either. (Well apart from just trying to sleep it all off). Still I can't use that excuse because it would be easier to do so. Sometimes life isn't easy - you just plow through it and do the best. Which is what I'll do today while simultaneously trying to not think about the back spasms or the ringing headache that feels as if my head is reverberating every time I blink.



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