2002-12-19 | 11:22 a.m.

Yesterday was long and somewhat painful even though I got some extra cash from a money envelope collected by the guys down here that I work with. Which was sweet, but hey it's all going to pay bills so it's not like I'm using it really.

After work I went and did some christmas shopping. I picked up a gift for my mom and brother. Now I just need to get my dad something. My brother gave him the only present I knew to give. So now I have to figure out something else. It'll be done, my dad isn't hard to get for.

I think my office and co-workers bring me bad vibes. I just feel as if there is all this bad karma going around in the damn office and that its seriously messing with my physically/emotionally. I'm trying to just let it go but it's easier said then done.

I know I sound crazy but I feel totally drained when working here. The only justification to why I stay here is because I need to pay bills. That and I'm somewhat removed from the crapfest since my office isn't right there in the hubub of everything. Still I feel completely drained every time I walk in here. My mom says its because I have a big heart and I take it all in. I say I just need to get with the program and not care so fucking much. It's THEIR petty bullshit. Not mine. I have to remember that.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t