2003-08-18 | 11:26 a.m.

Trying to find a job is an incredibly difficult and frustrating task. Especially in a city the size of New York. I feel like I am a rat and am always running to try to find the next morsel of cheese. I need a job soon. Very soon. The unemployment checks will end in 2 months and then I will REALLY be up shitcreek.

I was supposed to go on an interview this past Friday, when the black out occured, but obviously I didn't go. When my power came back on and I had a chance to be able to use the phone I called and left a message. Trying to re-schedule. I did it again today. Still no response from the woman even though I know she's probably back in and just hasn't called. Why is it so hard to re-schedule an appointment I don't know. I just know that I do want to reschedule it and I'm hoping I can get it for this week. I've been channeling positive thoughts to get the job and so I just want a crack at it. It's just a damn shame that right now the lady hasn;t called me back. *grrr*

I always feel like I am taking steps back instead of forward. It's like when will the time be mine to conquer a job and just shine already?! *grr* I'm so angry and frustrated lately. I've been trying to let it all go but it's very hard to do so when it feels like stuff around you happens just so you can feel like a dick. For example, a friend of mine, after a week or more - can't be more than a month found a job. Meanwhile I've been looking for what, 4 months?! It's like within days she found something and I have found nothing. As if no one wants me. And while I'm very happy for her because she gets out of a shitty situation, at the same time I'm angry and frustrated at myself and at the world for giving her a job before I get one. I know, I know, that sounds incredibly selfish of me. And I know, I'm a bitch. But still, it's like I've dealt with a lot of shit these past few months. A LOT. All I really need is a break. Something good to come my way. Unfortunately though nothing has.



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