2003-12-26 | 5:12 p.m.

God what is my fucking problem when it comes to money?! Jesus do I think I can shop like I'm a rich girl?! Urgh. I hate my dumbass mind that tells my heart that it's ok to shop for what I want because I have an overdraft account but then I feel like an ass when I do figure out my overdraft balance and am shocked at the fact I spent what I did spend. And sadly then I become a spoiled brat because then my heart begs my mind not to return the stuff I got myself back to the store.

Urgh.

Hate myself. Hate myself. Hate myself.

So basically I owe more than I think I do, which means 2 and a half unemployment checks will go to paying the stupid overdraft bill. I have one hopefully coming in tomorrow so I will see if I can just get it to be deposited into the overdraft line instead of my checking account. Then the next one should take care of most of it except for like $100.

And yeah when it comes down to it, it's really just money but as someone who was able to get all her debt over and done with to have this stupid bill hanging over my head now is lame. It makes me look like a jackass. I shouldn't have bought myself stuff for christmas. Instead I should have saved my money. But I am a dumbass and you live and you learn, and the rest of my unemployment checks will go to cover my ass on this bill.

Moving on...

Christmas was nice this year, even though I was in no mood to celebrate it. My present loot was awesome though. Check it out:

� A new digital camera! (The same one my brother got recently and it's HOT!)

� A Chanel powder and lip gloss.

� The dotted bag.

� My lovely new winter coat which is now a bit to big and I have to swap it for a smaller size.

� A cashmere grey turtleneck sweater.

� A Marc Jacobs perfume set with perfume and lotion and all that jazz.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t