2004-05-08 | 4:09 p.m.

Oh my god I'm so tired of other people's bullshit! Urgh! Literally I am being served heaping amounts of someone else's drama that I don't care for.

I've decided that I'm just going to cut a few things from my life. It's about time. Plus I'm tired of feeling this way. Tired of being pushed around because of someone else's drama. There's no need to stick around when you're not wanted. So instead I'm going to just chalk it up to another life experience and move on. Sometimes being alone is just easier than having to deal with someone else's baggage. Plus let's face it I am so tired of crying for unnecessary bullshit. Seriously I've cried way too much lately and enough is enough.

I think it boils down to the fact that I'm not happy with myself. And in not being happy with myself, I'm not happy with the people around me. Lately I find it hard to pay attention to - let alone care about others. I've become selfish. I want to find my own happiness. And I know that finding my happiness is so not going to happen at a bar watching some fellow aquaintenance DJ. It's not going to be getting drunk at some dive bar. It's not going to be doing the same thing on the nights I choose to go out and "party".

It's about time that I grow up. It's time that I find myself a job and get back into a work week schedule. It's time I find the happiness I so crave and deserve. There has always been a balance to my life and I know I don't have that now. I know that I am putting other people ahead of me which is why I need to stop doing that. It's about me, it's not about anyone else. This is my life and I need to live it. I need to care about myself because no one else (apart from family) is sure as hell going to care.

So a decision has been made and I'm going to stick with it. Time to be more selfish with myself.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t