2000-03-20 | 23:53:30

I am an anger ball right now. I'm sick and tired of people who treat me one way and when I bite back they think I'm the shocking one. Well excuse me if I show you my spine! I do have a backbone and a mouth and I am not scared to use either. So all of them can just back of because I can be one defiant bitch when they get on my shit list.

*growl*

I am so frustrated with people in general. Sometimes I wish I was on a deserted island where I could create the people I want to be around with. Sort of like, make your own friend. With my luck my friend would turn into a monster and claim control over the island. But still it would be nice to meet a friendly and honorable person. It's so damn rare to find now a days that I'm wondering if we are a rare breed.

Tomorrow I am just ditching everything. I'm going off into a little adventure to find some treasure. And it will be treasure I have been wanting. And my little escapade will only be about me, myself, and I. Anyone else can just bugger off.

You know I've been mentioning certain people in these last few entries and I've realized that it's because they make up part of my social life. My dwindling social life that is. But what I keep forgetting is that none of them are as important as I am. No I am not being shallow here. Not at all. This just comes from the point of no return. The point where I realize that getting stepped on is not cool and won't be accepted anymore. I'm stepping up to bat for my own damn self. I won't shine that spotlight oy anyone else. This is going to be about ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. And I have no problems with that. And why should I? How many times have I thought about everyone else apart from myself? It's time for me to rock the boat a little and make my own waves.

oy! These metaphors are killing me....

=P

On to brighter notes. I developed 2 roles of film today and I thought they were going to come out a mess. Surprisingly enough my talent at being a photographer is still valid and they looked pretty decent. Now all I need is to refine my project. But for that I need to schedule. And scheduling is such a shitty thing for me. I'm organized to a certain degree. But when it comes to photography I just want to get up and do it. Not have to wait around.

Gee....can anyone see the similarities between a child and I? Patience - what's that?!

But I have to focus and just schedule days and times with my models because this is getting to be ridiculous. Sooner than I think it will be finals time and my teacher will jump up my ass because of the lack of work I have shown her and the amount of time we have spent together doing this independent study. So that's what I'm going to do. Just not tomorrow.

hehehehehehehehehe.........

Tomorrow is another day after all.

=P

p r e v i o u s // n e x t