2000-04-14 | 21:20:37

It's Friday and instead of me thinking that I might actually get some free time to myself, I realize that I am inundated with work from school and the chances of me going out to even a movie is a rare possibility in that horizon.

I know I've said it before but I'll say it again. I want to be done already. I've had enough of dragging my ass up to school and then schlepping off to work. I actually want some free time for myself. Maybe I will take a month off after graduation. To realize what is and what will happen in my life. What I have no control over and what I should keep some track of.

I mean now that I'm finishing this part of my life I should be able to step back and look at it and wonder over my various possibilities.

And I have such a vast plethora of possibilities out there for me to take. I know I do. I could stay in this big apple or I could move somewhere where no one knows me and create a life I dream of. Of course that might have it's problems since no matter where I go some demons will still come with me to haunt me. Of course the aspect of starting new, starting fresh is very appetizing as well.

But this is all in my head still. After all I have till June to know what the hell I want to do with the rest of my life. It's that fight or flight notion. Should I stay, or should I go? Ultimately the choice is up to me, and I know I will find my own way in the end.

Although I wish someone had the directions so that I wouldn't fall into all the potholes that I may come across until then. It sure would be nice to get a few steps ahead before I start tumbling down once again.

It all comes down to that. Me. And the act of not tumbling down.

*Hrmph!*

E was right, maybe I am a drama queen. But then isn't life drama to begin with?!



p r e v i o u s // n e x t