2000-06-12 | 14:52:47

I feel like ass. Seriously. My cold is killing me. If I'm not woozy I'm very loopy. I can't stop coughing and everytime I try to breathe deeply I end up wheezing like a little old man. The parental units have started to get worried, saying it could be something more than a cold because I've had this horrible cough for a while now. I say, whatever, just as long as it ends - and soon. I am so sick and tired of not being able to go to sleep because I have to sit up to cough up a lung.

*grrr*

I don't even think I'm going to go to work today. I don't think I can stay coherant for the entire 6 hours. And maybe thats not such a bad thing also. I mean at my party I was a tad, well how should I put it, a tad outdone. So maybe it will be better for me to just lurk a bit. To hide myself for a bit. Of course I won't be able to go to work on Tuesday either because I'm going to the ballet and dinner with my older brother. I thought that wouldn't be so bad either but he's on my shit list for being such a prick as of late. I still have to go though. He's taking me to the most expensive french restaurant here in the big apple. Its known as the best one. And then on Wednesday I'll go to work. It'll be my birthday but then again its not like I'm actually planning anything. I'll just pretend its another day and that I'm not a year older. I was thinking of bringing a cake but fuck it, why bake a cake for something I'm not even sure I want to celebrate anymore, you know?

The weather here in the city is horrible. Its muggy and hot and even though it rained I feel like there wasn't a difference at all in the temperature. Its still as sticky as it was before. Damn weather gods. Why can't they just give us some sun but some cooling breezes? I am not doing well in this weather. I feel like I'm in a sauna every minute of the day and that is not a good feeling - especially since I am feeling like crap as of late.

I cleaned my desk this weekend. I mean I cleaned up big time. I don't know why I did it, maybe to start my 24th year with some organization, I dunno. What I do know is that the parental units were amazed. My desk looks umbelievable and so damn clean and organized. I feel like a new woman! (This is so sad to say but I do everything on this desk, well nto everythign but I sit at it for a large part of my day and now it looks beautiful!)

So I'm thinking that I'm going to de-clutter my room also. I threw out a lot of crap that was inside my desk drawers. I'm thinking I'll do the same for my dresser and my bookshelf. There's a lot of crap in both that is not needed but I store like a packrat and therefore I keep instead of tossing shit out. I'm thinking that when I'm finally done with the whole room things will be much better. Not because everythign will be organized, but because I'll have more of a flow in my room. Yes I know it sounds like bullshit but still it really feels better to look at clean and open spaces rather than cluttered ones.

Yeah clean and not cluttered...feels so much better than being a pack rat.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t