2000-06-18
| 05:33:41
Had the silly little dinner party today for the boy who's leaving for sunnier places. He's a nice kid, well I shouldn't even call him kid, he's older than I am. But still he's a good man and I'm sure he'll be happy once he gets to where he wants to go (which will most likely be at the end of this month). Sat in the shotgun seat tonight while someone else drove. Watched the dark and how people moved in and out of it. Its amazing what you miss when your not looking. The small things that just whizz past you. And I looked tonight. I looked and I remained silent, because lately being silent is just easier than talking. Talking means having to open my mouth and thinking and doing that activity is hard at the moment. Got invited to a party on the 22nd and immediately after invited the other 2 members of the trio. I want them around me whenever I can get them. Hopefully their schedule's will fit and they will come. It would be cool to make fun of the others and getting buzzed together. It would be even better going out and dancing after, knowing that we three know how to shake our bom bom's, while the others know ZIPPO. My uncle leaves on Monday. Another sad moment. Lately I feel as if my life has been a select grouping of sad moments. I'm trying to not let them get to me but there are instances when all I want to do is just cry my little heart out. But I'm not going to do that. Whats the use in crying? Nothing. Its not going to make anything better. So I'll put on my brave little Scully mask and pretend life is all peaches and cream. I need to start making money again. I can't bear to stand around waiting for a job and letting time tick by. Maybe I am starting to become like my brother. Time means money and the more time I lose the more money I do. Am I greedy? you bet! Do I want more money? As much I can possibly attain. Fuck I just want to not worry about money. I want to have fun. I need to have fun. I'm hoping good times are rolling around soon, I fucking need them.
p r e v i o u s // n e x t
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