2000-10-20 | 05:31:28

I'm going to have a serious meltdown if things don't start calming down at work soon. I am a fast worker and I can do everything that I am doing. The problem is that I get shoeveled with extra work and that is just so not cool. I can't make sure I have things done when head honcho comes to me every 5 seconds and aggravates me to see if projects are done. Of course things always get done at the end of the day and I'm usually the one who ends up staying late, but this is preposterous. I'm not getting paid enough to slave away like this. And besides I need to relax and rest SOON!

And you'd think when I get a lunchbreak I could take that hour and sit somewhere and actually breathe a little. I can't because I get nervous and stressed because I'm not back at work and shit isn't being done and if I just go back things will be taken care of quicker. So I always go back to work and either forget about the purchased food or gobble it up in bites that I can manage while I pull my fingers away from my keyboard.

This is pathetic. I'm 24. I'm supposed to have fun. Not become a workaholic.

I just need to sleep and actually rest and not have my mind working on overtime. Now if only that could happen. Usually I just toss and turn till I have to wake up in the morning. And let me tell you this night ritual of mine is not cool. I want to sleep. I just can't. I was going to try the old wives tale of drinking a glass of warm milk. But lets face it the only milk I like is cold and I'm not feeling it now.

I got the new Limp Bizkit cd from a street vendor today. Shit I live for bootlegs here in NYC. Why waste 20 bucks for one CD when you can get 4 for 20 bucks at the bootleg guy near work? *lol* I already am in love with 'Rollin' and let me not even mention the fact that 'getcha groove on' rocks.

OK time for my nightly ritual of tossing and turning. Maybe the drink I had with V & M might do the trick tonight. I hope it will. I want sleep...I really want sleep.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t