2001-01-31 | 14:06:04

Ain't this a bitch? When you think your down with one thing and something completely different happens. Like your expecting the sun to come out but it pours down with rain. It's surprising, especially since the situation you've put yourself in can be worth millions, but not in cash. In opportunities and love and the total embodiment of hope.

I'll settle with a few things going down right by the end of the week. Like happy hour and meeting people on Thursday, and the plans for the weekend and the hours and minutes when the mouse running through my head doesn't punch holes in my brain.

This is what I do. I nod my head and say 'hell yeah'. But when it comes down to it, I know it isn't safe and I know I don't feel comfortable. And so in these moments I know when to back away and start my own little rock band. I won't catch up on old times when those old times were sewn in with bile. One wrong move and I know I can be an organ donor. Or well at least dance that dance. Mixing with rebellious mirth can be deadly. I for one am not going to waltz into this room of mine alone. I'm going to make sure that I'm using my brain. There is one thing though. I want 'in' on some of this. Because I've thought this bitch out and now that I have I want what I can get. Which means a hella lot if I really stick to my guns. Which I will.

A co worker of mine at the new gig made me a cute bag. Very oriental and very cute. No doubt I'll be sporting it out over the summer or maybe at night when the winter winds liften up a bit. Anyways whever I use it I'm sure I will use it to its full potential. Lord knows I have a fetish for bags and shoes - regular Imelda Marcus I am.

Talking about fetish's I have too much love for make up. And I'm not just talking about the chi-chi-frou-frou makeup found in big stores. Hell I can walk into a Duane Reade or Ricky's here in NYC and just drool at the mouth. It's sparkly eyeshadows, and glistening lip glosses, and blushes that look like I've been running outside all day. And let me not even get started on the lipstick and lip stain factor. My search for Stila's lip rouge is still on and will continue till I get one in my hands myself. I fully realize that I'm a girlie girl walking around in sneakers that sometimes are untied and that sooner or later I will fall down to the floor again and get up and do some Mary Katherine Gallagher impressions to save my ass - or what little ass I can manage to save.

I can't believe I missed the Jackie 60 party last night. How bogus was that of me? But in all honesty I don't think I could have managed to go to work the next day either. Being that I hate being a party pooper for my own party so I would of ended up staying till like 4am anyways. So bygones...

Next weekend I go skiing with certain co workers from the new gig. So far all I have for this trip is: my gap marshmellow jacket, and 2 nylon pants. Which means I have bubkiss here people. I need pants that will go under those nylon pants. Something in the form of either leggings or fleece pants. Oh and I have no shoes that could be worn in the snow what so ever. Yey for me. Which means that this weekend I need to find a good pair of sturdy boots, leggings, and snow socks. Because I only have cute pretty girlie socks and those thin babies are not gonna protect my feet and toes from both the cold and the ski boots that I will rent to try and ski. (Let's see how far that baby is gonna last.) So I have a full weekend of stuff to do along with this little shopping spree for winter wonderland weekend fun. Let me just say that this mini trip better be fun. But it should be because I'm bringing provisions that should make it amusing.

Well I'm all done. I need to get back to work anyway.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t