2001-02-06 | 15:26:27

When I'm in these moods I play Janis Joplin. I don't know if its because her scratchy voice lulls me into a false sense of security or it makes me want to get up and fight the good fight.

There are people at this new gig who just need to bite the big one and leave me alone. Anal retentive people who are being rude and mean for no apparent reason. And I apologized but I failed to see why I should say I was sorry when I never did what they said I did and it never happened to me. I mean people who have seen me work know this. At least certain people know its a crock of shit. I just wish I could go up the fat bastard and be like, get a baby in your belly and leave me alone you prick. But whatever. You live and you learn.

I am already getting tired of this all. I mean I was lying in bed the other day and I realized that this gig ain't no better from what I was doing at the other place. Except I was closer to home and could actually go home for lunch. Plus I was getting more money. So if you ask me maybe I should just jump ship since shitty here or shitty there doesn't really make a difference anymore? I don't know. Part of me actually thinks I might get upgraded here. Part of me fears that also. So maybe its better to leave before I even start to tumble.

Whats worst? This weekend I won't even get to see 'Hannibal' like I want to. Because you ask? Going on a ski trip. Which would be fun if I enjoyed half of the shit any of them did. Which I don't. I don't see myself having a good time this weekend. I don't want to 'mingle' with them for the simple reason that they are just not up to my speed. I'm younger. I don't like what they like and a lot of them are rude to boot. This means this weekend is shot to hell already. I must remember to bring lots, and I do mean LOTS of music and my book and possibly my journal. Anything that will keep me busy after I'm done learning to ski. Because participation with them will be as remote as possible, if I can help it. And this isn;t me being vindictive at all. It's me realizing that I'm not like them and I don't want to be like them at all. And this is good to know before I bury myself in this dump.

Last night I watched Ally McBeal and call me crazy but wasn't that kid a little too smart for his own good? I just sort of wanted to stick out my tongue at him and tell him to piss off. Of course he was just a kid. And it's a damn shame Robert Downey Jr. might be facing the chain gang and becoming someone's jail bitch because that man is too handsome and charming. He's very yummy indeed. Me likes him. But all good things must come to an end and I guess he might be flying solo for a bit there.

Talking about things ending I need to get back to work. Not that I want to. But I gotta.

p r e v i o u s // n e x t