2001-02-19 | 20:18:33

I've had time to think. Time to act like a irrational person and time to wallow. Well actually up till now I've only really thought and acted irrational. The wallowing part I am still in denial about. Things have filled up my mind since I got laid off. Like how am I going to pay for my bills? What am I going to do without a job? I need that social and financial stability. But I've come to the conclusion. This happened for a reason. Really. As much as I abhore the fact that it did and it left me hanging on a thin thread it still happened for a reason. Maybe by giving me my freedom back I can stretch my wings and learn to fly in a way that I really want to. Whats the use of staying on a sinking ship after all?!

So my plan so far is to find anything, even temp work, and make sure that I get money rolling in again. Not because I want to pay my bills, that I do, but I want to have my liberty also. Plus I had decided on a trip to Las Vegas in April and by god I am going to make enough money to take that trip. Seriously. That trip was my ticket out for a blast. A 'I don't give a flying fuck about anything' trip. And I will take it. Even if it means I'm supposed to do it all alone, I will. The lush duo and I were supposed to all go but I'm not sure if they are both okay with that or not. I just know that I am going and I am going to have a blast.

So there you go. My head is out of the water and come Tuesday I am going to start swimming ferociously back to the shore. This shit is not going to get me down. I have plans and they will not be destroyed because of stupid people who have no dreams or potential to seek those dreams out. So poo poo to them. This chick is happy and she's gonna do it.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t