2001-03-04 | 21:26:19

It's tough to listen to people and really pretend to give a fuck. Seriously. And try to do this while you've had your fill of free libations and your in another world. Your head keeps bounching up and down in a sort of an 'I know' gesture. Your body is screaming for release and your mind is telling you that you have 2 options. One is to tell the person to shut the fuck up, the other is to keep sitting there, like a chump.

Guess which option i took? If you guessed the later rather than the former then you don't get a prize. Because in my delirium I really opened my mouth and was like, 'you know I don't care. please shut the fuck up.' It was a proud moment for me. One where I chose to look the person square in the eye and tell them to fuck off to some other location.

You know I have reinvented myself so many times that I think I forgot that my original skin is so comfy. And what's wrong with making a few jaws drop? I mean if you think about it, not every good girl gets where she wants. And I guess this means that I'm not that good to begin with. Because you know what? Nothing really matters THAT much. The only way I get to have fun is when I really forget everything. And I mean everything. Where shit flies out of the window and Original Jo comes out. And I think I like Original Jo better than who I'm supposed to play pretend to be. Maybe this time I'd like this skin to grasp my frame and stretch it out so that I can work within it. So that I can live with it. Because I don't have to look, act and be like something I'm supposed to be. All I have to do is look them in the eye and say 'fuck you'. Because there's no spell on me and I was one step away from boring. And thank god I was sucked back into the vortex of reality checks. Because really this beat does go on. It just doesn't have to filter into some easy listening crap.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t