2001-04-24 | 9:39 p.m.

While at work today I came across various comparison's. Very amusing and completely right if you ask me. So right that at one point I actually sat down and thought about it. Granted it was during lunch, but still, in the end it came out to be very concrete in my head.

So I enjoy Ally McBeal. (I have no shame in my game). And after Monday's episode filtered though my brain this morning as I rode the subway to work I realized how 'Ally' some people in my life really are. Check it out, seriously...it's a real shitshow.

I see myself a lot as Ally. Only because I can completely understand her way of thinking. Also because I share some of her mental insanity. Which sometimes scares me but also entices me.

My Billy is long gone but never forgotten. His British streak is still within me, whenever I turn my pages.

My brother IS Richard. Well off, smart, witty, and has a great passion for money. It's amusing if you ask me. Like the real Richard my brother has had a few girlfriend's also, nothing spectacular though. I always see him as swimming the yuppie pool. Only with a hella lot more cash.

The female part of the lush duo is a little Elaine and a little

Renee. 50/50 I'd say. She understands the game and the hunt and enjoys every second of it. She's got this 'look at me, look at me, look at me' thing when it comes to men. And most of them do. She can be as funny also. But I think that unlike the real Elaine she only really feels comfortable with men.

John is just definitely Kwazyboy. Although most might look at him and Ally's relationship and think their might be some chemistry, well there isn't. Platonic intimacy that should never be divulged is more like it to me. he's odd. Just as odd as Ally. They have this strange banter between them. Like they know but really they don't know. Both believe they march to the beat of a different drummer. Both don't realize how wrong they are. Like John, Kwazyboy is a nice wacky odd. Spontaneous. In the moment fresh.

My Brazilian older sister is so much like Nelle that it's kinda freaky. I look at her and I see that she's tall, thin, blonde and can even be the sub-zero. She is so stubborn that it's strange I cherish her so much. But then opposites attract and she's captivated me for a damn long time.

Ling is who I wish I could become. A vixen with no mercy. She strutts. She pouts. She kicks ass. She is what I wish I could be even knowing that I can't. Not because it goes against anything I believe. No not at all. I just think I don't have the vivacity to be her, or at least have her talented trademarks.

I have no Larry as of yet. I'm awaiting for my Larry though. Anxiously hoping he will get here in time for me. I find that my car keeps moving and maybe that's why. Maybe he doesn't see me whizz by or maybe I'm going to fast and he can't run beside me jump in and slow the vehicle a little. I just know that I wish I had someone to sing 'Every Breath You Take' to me.

I haven't thought about the other characters really. I just know that these are persistent in my mind. They each fit their places. They each resemble my real life characters.

It's funny because most people don't believe they have an Ally or John or Nelle in their lives. But just thinking about it today to and from work makes me acknowledge the fact that they can exsist, and very easily.

If that weren't the case people whom I work with wouldn't compare me to Karen. But then I don't see that as something bad. I see it as a compliment. After all, she has a killer rack, money, and is wonderful. Why wouldn't she be happy?

But it does look like I have Ally McBeal monsters laying around inside my basement. And they each teach me something, no matter how much I hate that they do.



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