2001-05-01 | 9:03 a.m.

While I understand everyone's hate for Ally McBeal, I can't help myself. I get sucked into her. And not because she has enticing eye's. More along the fact that sometimes her character rakes up my insides and puts it on her damn show.

Take for example last night. When she has everything she wished and hoped for and yet still lives for the future. Lives for tomorrow, never truly looking forward to living in the present. The day. Today. Always looking at what she can and should and will do. And how is it that when she said she is alone with him did I shake my head like a fool and end up twirling my fingers in the thread that caught loose over my pajama top?

Why do I completely understand what she meant through the whole episode? Why is it that I hear songs when certain people talk? Why is it that I wish I could stop at the same time I wish I could turn and run? Really these questions should be answered. At least from a medical or psychological perspective. Well I'm starting to think that maybe I should because sometimes people just look at me like I'm an oddball. And really I'm not an oddball. More like I have a few screws that have come loose and I need to dust my thoughts and mind.

I am feeling a bit better now. The whole day Monday was very iffy though. A few seconds of feeling great here and there with a hell of a lot more time feeling like crap. But that didn't stop me from coming home, changing and heading out the door. I saw ' 42nd Street' the musical last night. You'd think I would say no but hey it was free and no matter what I always say yes to free theatre tickets. That and because I couldn't remember the damn show that much either. I remember coins being danced upon but everything faded after that. Clearly I can see why now. Although the dancing was entertaining my ass was getting bored after a while. And frankly that's a bad sign. If the ass hurts from sitting on it too much without anything captivating flashing across your eyes, well then too bad. But hey once again it was free and who am I to bitch and whine about it? So there you go.

I have to mention one thing. Benetint lip balm has got to be the best thing in the world. Now no longer do I have to mess around with the Benetint bottle looking like I'm polishing my lips. All I have to do is swipe some of that bad boy on and I'm good to go. It looks just perfect and I'm starting to think it'll look great on anyone. But that's just me and my little beauty name drop right there. *lol* No seriously the stuff is good. So good that I hope they never end.



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