2001-05-18 | 10:28 p.m.

I have got to get it together now. Seriously. Today as I walked back home I realized a few things. There is no one in this life more important than I. I won't settle in being the one left behind anymore. Things that seem like a dream aren't anymore. People can be sadistic little fuckers and I'm done with playing games with them. If they want to they can play alone because this little girl is moving. Not running or quietly creeping away. But walking. At a steady pace. And come what may I know that I can feel like I'm going to be ok in the long run. I have goals and sadly I misplaced them with shiny flashy objects in front of me. Yes I can be detered for a few moments but not long periods of time anymore. What's done is done and there is no past I can claim when the past was wishy washy to begin with. Things change. I tried to confront what I shouldn't have and so I live and I learn.

Saw Blow tonight. Have to admit it was rather boring. I'm not a Johnny Dep fan what so ever, but it looked like an interesting film. It wasn't. It was rather boring and it dragged on quite a lot. But hey better watching a movie rather than doing nothing. So I'm kinda glad I went.

It's Partygirl's birthday so make sure to go over there and sign her guestbook. Make sure she feels the love because she is an awesome person.

My brother bought this contraption that tests blood pressure. It goes around your wrist and slowly squeezes it as it vibrates. It's an odd instruement and my brother couldn't really get a reading from it because I kept laughing loud. I don't know why, it was just too funny. After having come home, taken a shower and relaxing he comes running into my room to show me this. Like it's an amazing discovery. And I end up just bursting into giggles. I mean come on now!

This weekend promises me nothing. Which is a good thing. I don't want anything planned because I don't have much money till next paycheck day and frankly I just want to chill. I found it refreshing to stay at hoem last weekend. It gave me plenty of time to sleep and read and generally do what most peopel do during the week. It's fun to go out and party the night away but it's also nice to stay home. I'll probably go watch Shrek with my brother or a friend. Who know's?! I'll just play it by ear. That's the thing about weekends - I don't have to plan anything, because something will roll along sooner or later.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t