2001-05-20 | 2:54 p.m.

As I stated before, my weekends just happen. And Saturday night was fun in the dim bar, good music and people kinda way. Met Partygirl and Gingi at a nice little spot. Downed libations and talked. Good conversations. More people added to the mix. More conversation and booze. Always a good mix. And even though I came home early, I still had a hella good time. It's nice to go out without any issues. Without having to deal with other people's drama's. But just looking on and being in one spot. It was just nice. I am so glad I went. Of course I misplaced Partygirl's present. T-Shirt made by little old me. Bedazzled and safety pinned. But of course I also put it in one spot in my room an now it's gone M.I.A. Always happens. No doubt I'll find it sooner or later and present it to her with a grin.

Passed emails with Hillary or C.C. , whatever this person is to me anymore. How faulty am I to be human is all I have to say. Apparently in all my confusion I am to blame for EVERYTHING. Bite me is all I can say. No wait, I can also say 'eat shit'. If someone can't make mistakes well then they aren't fucking human. Anyways I'm counting headlights on the highway from now on. I'll have busy days ahead of me and I don't think I care anymore. No I lie. I do care, but not as much as I thought I would. Perhaps it's the fact that I've come to the realization that friends aren't family. That no matter how fucked up family can get, it's still family. Blood is thicker than water anyday. And unconditional love comes from family - whether I fuck up or not. Of course being human was my mistake this time. Shame on me. But fuck it either way. Life is too short to worry about shit like this anymore.

I bought more film for the I-Zone camera. That little bugger is addictive. It's always in my bag now. Like a quick fix on memories. The film ain't cheap, but it's fun as hell to take. I'm building a wall of photo's at work. So far it's amusing. Co-workers come and go and smile at the crazy faces. I can't wait for next Friday night when we are having our 'chicks night'. I'll be whipping out that baby left and right and making sure to get everyone's drunk mug. And I'm posting them up on our wall - well door actually.

This past Friday when I went to go see Blow with my boss I saw something I wanted. Not clothes. Not make up. But a cardboard stand up doll of David Duchovny. It was along with the other 'stars' in the movie Evolution that he's in that's coming out soon. I wanted to grab the cutout and run. But I decided it was not a good idea as the movie theatre crew eyed me wearily. But as I climbed the stairs I giggled. It would be so awesome if I had that in my room or in my office space. Every morning I'd wake up and shout 'morning Dave!' (I'm delusional - I must be!) Still having a life size cardboard cutout of the man with the cutest pouty mouth would be nice. You know eye candy and all. *lol* Well a girl can still dream - especially since her birthday is around the damn corner!

I can't get enough of the Almost Famous Soundtrack. It's on continuos loop on my system and CD walkman as I go to work and back from work. I don't know why these songs appeal to me. and yet they tug at my heart strings and really I have no problem in listening to it a lot now. Granted I'll probably stop listening to it in another month, but still for now the soundtrack is perfect for my moods. They flow as well as the damn CD. One of these days I'm going to list the songs I wish I could put on a soundtrack for my life. They are oh so mixed but all contain a special quality that make them fit into the soundtrack that I would create for my life. But for now it's time I take a nap. Sunday promises to be good and I don't want to miss a minute of it all.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t