2001-05-21 | 9:55 p.m.

Some dreams come true. Some don't. But keep on dreaming.

I heard that at the end of Pretty Woman. It was on a some channel on TV and I plopped down to watch it since I hadn't watched it in a long time. I forgot why I like this movie. I remember now. because it allows you to dream. It doesn't confiscate them. It simply states that sometimes things happen. Sometimes they don't. But you have to keep on dreaming and reaching and you'll get what's meant to be for you that's out there. And it's funny how a movie can be insightful just as much as its entertaining. And I'm glad I watched it again. Because it reassured something in me that was unstable. The knowledge that I can dream, and that if I work hard at it that some dreams might pay off at the end. And you know what? I do believe in me, and I do believe that I can do what I'm set out to do. I just won't question what I'm set out to do anymore. It's tedious and not constructive in any way. And imagine that - all this picked up from a movie!

Quiet !!! Shh, hush yo mouth

Silence when I, spit it out

In yo face

Open yo mouth, Give you a taste

(Holla)

Aint no stoppin me.

I'm getting hooked up. Not in the sense that I'm getting a hot boy. Mentally I'm getting the goods. I'm getting the move's. I'm learning and living. That's always a good thing. And I'm sure I'm going to find what I'm looking for. And if I don't? It doesn't matter, I know I have a long life ahead of me and I have plenty of time to waste if I choose to waste it. This little chick won't fear and won't fade anymore. Plus the light is shining down upon me - letting me bask in its heat and roll in it's rollercoaster journey.

I feel so well. I don't know how I manage it though since I barely got any sleep. X files on my brain - couldn't be helped. Last night was he season finale and lets face it I was dancing the victory dance and grinning from ear to ear for a while after it ended. I think I eventually flopped on the bed at about 3 or 4 am.

I am so happy today. Really. Even though the rain came pouring down I am grinning. Everyday now I set an obstacle in my path to see if I can make it over the wall so to speak. Today I jumped a huge wall. And I'm talking the size of the Great Wall of China here. So I feel very warm and fuzzy and just smart. I'm finally growing up. I'm finally turning into a mature and responsible person. Yeah sure I can still get my kicks here and there but I have a greater plan, and now its in motion and wow, life is just good right now. That and the fact that I'm looking to the front and not back to the past. And I'm not intimidated by anything anymore. It's amazing how you can feel when things start working for reasons left unsaid and yet your there and experiencing everything. After all it is better to have felt then to not have felt anything at all. And I'm going with that.



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