2001-05-28 | 1:07 p.m.

Things Learned This Long Weekend:

1. Fun in marguerita-ville. Especially when you bump into an old co-worker and your like "oh shit..." because you can't remember her name but can remember she had a bad hygene problemo.

2. Babe's a pig. Which only means one thing: "Bah-ram-ewe!"

3. The Breakfast Club can be watched over and over and over again no matter if your drunk or sober. But if you do end up being drunk skip the part where you pump the tv louder when the music comes on and start jumping on the bed with your friend. Not only will you miss the falling bed but you won't hit your head on the floor. (Which I think I have a bump on but mum's the word.) And you know what Allison said in the movie is wrong. When you grow old your heart doesn't die. You just become stupid. You forget to look at whats important. Thankfully I can now kick myself in the ass and turn my head the other way. (Always good.)

4. I was drunk with power on Saturday afternoon as I made sure that everyone waiting in line for coffee managed to walk out of the establishment humming a Barry Manilow tune. Because you know that sucker stuck into their heads and will pop up eventually. (Nothing like acting like a dumb ass). I admit, I grinned from ear to ear as I walked out the door holding my coffee. (But see there are some merits to this. For the majority of the time I use my talents for good, not evil, so that's good. (Well ok except for the Barry Manilow thing.)

5. Glitter. Glitter. Glitter. So much glitter that at one point I thought I was swimming in it. But hey, glitter is a girl's best friend (well that or her vibrator.)

6. I truly love certain people in my life. They fill me with wonder and joy and just plain mirth that I find it hard not to be around them. This weekend was the perfect merge of old and new. And when I talk about new I mean hot boys! And when I say hot boys, I mean every inch of skin that Missy Elliot can sing about. (And she can because she already had a song called 'Hot Boys' and hoo boy will that now be heard everytime I see certain individuals.)

7. Pearl Harbor blows. No wait it didn't blow, it sucked ass. For some it might be 'technically brilliant' but I fully agree with ladiebug on this. Thank god that it wasn't my $10 is all I have to say. But I can admit that Kate Beckinsale is one pretty brunnete with pale skin. Gives me hope being that I am paler than pale.

8. Is the right relationship a mix of love and trust or just money and money? Not sure about that one. I just know that I want money. More money. Boxes of money just like in Blow. And I love money. I am shallow and I can admit it. I love living the lifestyle. Truthfully I don't think I could be any happier in less. *lol*

9. It's very shocking how I used to be my own worst enemy. Now it's very funny because I can't get enough of myself. It's like I'm my biggest fan and everything I do is comedy or genius. I'm a regular walking shit show. But fuck it. Maybe that's why I'm Courtney? I must admit though being resembled to her is brilliant. I loved the woman when she was fucked up and I love the woman now that she's a total glamour puss with an attitude. Hell she is the epitome of shit show, and I love it.

10. Going out clubbing is always fun. This weekend was even better when I sat down next to someone who told me her tales of Studio 54. I'm not sure if anything she said was true or not, but if it wasn't what a hell of a story to believe in. But then that time was all about having fun and in doing so shocking others. Always good. I'm all for a bunch of people shocking others. If it gets the message out there then go for it. Of course their message was more along the lines of free love, drugs, booze, and more. So you really kinda have to take it or leave it. Still she was pretty cool - even bought me a drink.

11. Ahhhh bubbly champagne - why are you so good to me? (Love you - yeah I really do.)

12. Oye, callado.The realization of knowing that I still care for you causes me annoyance. One no doubt stronger and more lasting than a swift kick in the groin from a pair of steel toed shoes. I realize your overrated. Still I look to see if your not there. And you don't fail me, because your no where in sight.

13. There's something in the air. I don't know if its just the cranky weather or if it's me. I can feel the sparks. I walk and shock the pavement. I touch and I shock myself. Electricity. I feel like I'm built from flailing wires dancing around a puddle. Inching back and forth and never knowing if they will burn away or fade. It's crazy how I can feel it. Like I'm breathing smoke. Voice raspy and feeling hot. And the more I move the more I crush. I feel like I'm anarchy wearing a pink lip glossed pout.

14. Getting your ya-ya's out can be incredibly fun. Especially if you pampered and primped and then went on to dazzle. And dazzle you did, glimpsing at people like you owned the ground you strode upon. Maybe this is how I am supposed to feel? Have within me people and places that showed me how to feel. Letting me know that the sky isn't at my reach anymore because I've surpassed that. I've gone and come back. And I now can truly feel myself fighting and not giving up. Not dying at the rageing of the light whatsoever. And knowing that I can look back, wink, and stride away breatheless.

15. Because I can I had fun. And lots of fun. Detrimental in every way, but you know what? Fuck it. If I can't have fun now then when? And let's face it, in June I'm turning 25 - and I gotta hell of a lot of shit to do before then. I have a lot of living I've been missing out being so damn good and polite and what not. Right now I'm doing what I want to do. And that's fun. And that's all that matters.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t