2001-06-19 | 7:00 p.m.

I really think everyone can be crazy and beautiful. Except if you attain the perfect mesh of both then you have something amazing. I was crazy before, hell I still am. This time I'm ready to get beautiful again or really for the first time.

As silly as that may be yesterday morning I walked out of the house with wet hair, freshly showered, and just moisturizer on my face. I've never done that. I usually wear my contacts and makeup and what not. But I left wearing my spectacles and nothing on my face but moisturizer with SPF. It felt liberating! (And yes it might seem silly but I still felt awesome.)

Walking into Sephora to return a moisturizer I had bought with a gift certificate from the girls from work, but had forgotten my brother had bought it online for me, I swayed near the glitzy girly stuff. I can't get enough of glitter. It's like I hone into the specific locations of perfect fine loose glitter and lip glosses. Like I'm some sort of queen bee trying to grab the best honey. It's sick. I can spend WAY too much time in that store, and I have WAY too much crap to prove it. Purchase was returned and nothing was bought although I desperately wanted to shell out the $30 for the Nars glittery stuff in the little tub. But I held back and just turned away. Which lets face it is a miracle for me. When it comes to Sephora I'm a sucker and I end up buying stuff. So yey for me being a marketable sucker when it comes to make up.

Something brilliant happened to me today. Something amazing. Something that made me feel like I was warm and fuzzy inside and that I could put one foot infront of the other even though I may not know how and where I'm going. I'm going to Brazil. I'm going home. I'm going back to Rio. Of course this is only at the end of July and I'm only going for a long weekend. But hey. I got my tickets today. I finally have the proof that I'm going home. I'm going to see family. And I know I'll be able to really feel the love there. It's like there love has a form. A shape. It's not tangible. I can feel it and see it and god I am so happy that I'm going back. That I will be present to see my cousin marry. It makes me feel like I haven't felt in a long time and frankly its a damn good thing.

On a total tangent before I finish I have to mention that you should all go and read badjuju. It's genius! It's bootylicious!



p r e v i o u s // n e x t