2001-06-25 | 9:55 p.m.

Another hectic week begins. And all because boss lady is out for the week. It has it's pro's and con's because I am free to maneuver my whole day around the way I want it to. But I also have to deal with crap I don't want to. You win some, you lose some.

I hope the rest of the week isn't as hectic as it was today. Because if it is I'll be dead tired come Friday. But I will be going to watch the movie this Friday because I really want to watch it. And with just my luck it might even be playing at the movie theatre near me. (Let's hope.)

You know when people cry a lot of them try to hide it. It's a fact. (Well not scientifically but in my humble opinion it is.) Hell everyone I know does it. Instead of wailing out at the injustice of what they deem themselves to be feeling they bury this hatchet within themselves.

People cry in hushed tones. I can say I've done it, and will most likely do it again due to my crying spree's as of late. But I have to begin to wonder what it would feel like to cry freely. In the middle of a NYC street. To see if anyone would come up. To see if anyone would offer any help. I doubt they would but it's a thought non the less.

At ease. It's a strange feeling really. I've come a long way. Dropped some stuff here, hurled some stuff there. Tonight as I sit and softly cry as I listen to Robert downey Jr. sing 'Chances Are', I know that I'm the best I've ever met. And if I want to see beautiful all I have to do is look in my mirror and smile. I don't have to find anything in anybody else because I have it in me. And if I don't have it me, then I don't need it to begin with. It might be crazy to others, and yet I don't care. Because this time, I'm finally free to be me - whether they like it or not.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t