2001-06-26 | 10:36 p.m.

Color me happy, because I am. In shades of pink and denim. And why may you ask? Because for the price of one pair of shoes I got 2. And I'm not talking about some tacky looking shoes. Nope. No siree. We're talking 'pin-up-babydoll-wanna-fuck-me-shoes?' And they are all mine! And you could say I walked out of that store beaming. Well it's true. I loved them. And you bet your ass I'll be wearing these babies out when I lounge about outside sipping my cosmo.

(P-licious just you wait - you haven't seen anything yet baby!)

Yes I admit I have a shoe thing. Better that then any other thing though. I mean I'd rather buy a pair of adorable shoes than inject myself, snort any thing, or hell basically drink my way to oblivion (sidebar though - a drink here and there never killed anyone.)

A good day today. Yes indeed. Albeit a rather excessive amount of paperwork, I still came out of it alive. It didn't help matters much though that as I had my lunch outside the sun was shining brightly and people were strolling along. These are the days when I wish I were just outside so that I could run around and frolic. (Frolic - did I just say that? Yes indeed I did!) I did that at one point. I remember, and I want to do a lot more of it now that the sun is out and the heat is in everyone so to speak.

Plans for Crazy/Beautiful this Friday. Should be good. Sitting in a movie theatre watching cheese-o-rama movie, air conditioned cocoon. Popcorn, Soda, hey candy!(What's not to like?)

I was thinking about this today while I rode the 6 back home. How easy it is for me and for others to go with first impressions. You know when you look at somebody and you automatically think one thing? And that's so wrong. Seriously. It really is. And I am fault for doing that so many times. I admit it. I have no shame in my game anymore. I admit it to anyone who asks.

I just think that now I'm a little more open to what may come. And if I don't like it then I just step away from it. Doesn't mean I'm phobic in any way. It just means that it's not my bag. And its just weird I guess. Because to me open means honest. I guess for others it doesn't. I dunno. And as I sipped cosmo's this early evening with a friend I realized that sometimes situations change not because of me but because of others. That sometimes their situations are the one's being squeezed to death. So stepping away means that they can face themselves in the light or in the dark. Some people don't like powerful women either. And I've come to realize this. Perhaps this is why my energy isn't being sucked from me anymore. I dunno. I just think if I surround myself with love then my karma is good. If I spread the love even better. I just don't ever really want to stay sour like I was before. No more sour, sullen girl. She's got some perspective. Some fire in her belly, and it's not going anywhere.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t