2001-07-06 | 10:32 p.m.

Riot 718 had this great analogy today. I called her after calling people that have NOW been erased from my life. So, as she stated in her analogy, I was dealing with 2 grade school kids. I went to them and said, �if I share my cookie�s will you two share the milk?� They said they would but then they turn around and spill the milk.

I can�t act like an adult when they are the children. I can�t want to turn around and be the adult and be the bigger person by apologizing for any �hurt� feelings they as drama queens might have felt and expect them to be mature enough to accept my apology and then be ok with it. After all they are just children. I can�t expect them to act like the adults that they aren�t. And so the analogy fits. Because as much as I would not like to burn bridges and remain friends they do want to do the exact opposite of that. And so I will refrain from them in my life. I will erase their names and faces from my life just as I did their emails, names, and addresses on my palm & filofax. Because who needs them if they can�t bring anything good to me? Who needs them if they are the children and they want to bring all that negative energy into my life? It�s taken a phone call to both of them for me to realize that you can�t smooth anything out when the people involved in it are foolish.

So goodbye, and most likely good riddance. Let them lie to themselves and not to me. Let them live their lives and I will live mine. Because in the end I can come out of this whole childish drama and say to myself that I was woman enough to know that I might have made a mess but at least I apologized for it. I was woman enough to do that. I was woman enough to want the truth. I was woman enough to admit to them what I thought and they, in the end, were the fools to think that I wouldn�t ever do so. Goodbye Kwazyboy and partner in crime. You both deserve your lives. I deserve mine. (And that�s happy, healthy, and not having you both in my life.)

A break. (A somewhat messy break, but a break none the less.) What I needed to hear is what I did hear in the end. What I needed to see is what I ended up seeing in all those �stolen moments� when no one thought I might be looking or hell even thinking. But I was. I always was. And I�m not afraid to admit what I saw. I�m just sad to say others can�t be as courageous. And it goes to show that I come out good in all of this. I come out not slandering anything because what you see is what you get and what I saw is what I ended up getting. Children with attitudes. But children none the less. It�s good to know where I stand now. It�s even better to see where they do. And let�s hope that if I ever get involved with people like that again I hope to have the smarts in stopping before I even invest any of my time or heart. Because they aren�t good investments if they turn around and end up hurting you. Not good at all.

Especially since I was told that what I write on here, (my feelings) are not cool with them. (Um�excuse me last time I checked this was my space and thanks to American laws I am free to write and say what I want. You don�t have to look if you don�t want to.) And so be it.

I feel good. Now I do. Before I had this sour taste within me that wouldn�t go away. I thought by making amends it would not stay that way. But it was them. I needed to get my ass out of the situation before it got out of hand. And I have. Thanks to them. So I suppose I should thank them for making me realize what I do now. But instead I�d rather have the door hit their asses and be gone with them. Which they are now. Like a silly cycle. They came and now they are gone. Gone. It just feels good to hear that and actually feel it. G. O. N. E. Gone.

And now�hello sunshine!

Had happy hour after work with the ladies from work. Which is always nice. Especially since we were outside and it was just the perfect end to the day. Not hot. Not very humid. Really it was just perfect. We teased each other back and forth. Spoke of gossip, drank a few Cosmo�s and generally had a great time.

It�s always nice when you can go out with your boss and have a good time. My boss is that cool. She can be a square sometimes, but she�s really cool in that odd but interesting way. So we get along together really well. After happy hour, she and I saw Scary Movie 2. Mad cheesy but very funny. They were a little too stupid on the gag jokes but overall had me laughing. 2 of my thumbs up if you just want to go and laugh to pointless drivel.

What I can say though � which is by far the best thing I�ve seen in a while...the trailer for Jay & Silent Bob�s new movie. Ahhh�can�t wait to go see that. Kevin Smith is a genius and he certainly knows how to write a damn good story. (A big old nagga-nooch to him. You go tubby bitch � you go.)

And now. Now I get to chill and make sweet mix mini-discs. A task which I�ve been wanting to do but never getting the time to do so. Thanks to Mr. Bootleg guy I now have a whole new batch of crap to work with. I�ll be making my own very choice selection so that I can pump it up as I go to work.

(Ah yes it�s the little things in life that entertain me...)



p r e v i o u s // n e x t