2001-08-21 | 12:33 a.m.

Change.

When it finally happens you really don't notice it at first. But when others do, you feel this gratification, this immense joy. And I do.

I bumped into an old acquaintance today as I was going home. And I'm pretty sure she felt it. You know that firm sense I have in me. The knowledge. The power. Wanting and knowing that I can and I will. And maybe that shines through me now. Maybe the power I feel now gives me the ability to smile, to laugh, to know the dealio and to play the game. Not to cower away in a corner because I think my feelings might get hurt.

Now I'll play and fight hard. If I get my feelings hurt then that only means that something good may come of it. I will learn from it. And so this girl, this woman, this chick I once deemed to be the coolest person on earth, saw me and felt it. Felt the 'yeah baby, this girl's gonna be just fine' vibe. Felt the power. The strength of my beliefs. Because I do. I feel somewhat purified, like what's to come now is only the best.

I have an appointment with a personal trainer after work tomorrow. Can't wait to go and kick butt and feel like I'm some sort of Dark Angel. (Really I should stop watching so much TV.)

I really like some of the new Gap commercials on TV lately. Yes they breed a whole new legion of conformists, yes I don't purchase anything there anymore because frankly I don't want to be part of a crowd that doesn't have any personal style and all that other hoopla. But the new ads are kinda cute. I think I especially like the Juliette Lewis one where she's dancing funky style with robots and the Nika Costa one because lets face it I really like that chick's voice.

I've been in migraine city all day today, so I'm cutting it short.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t