2001-09-07 | 7:56 p.m.

MTV VMAs. I'm such a whore for these things. I don't care if they're good or bad, if I'm gonna bitch about them, I have to watch.

 I have no friggen clue how "Lady Marmalade" beat out "Weapon of Choice" for the best video. It was a cool video plus Christopher Walken apparently did his own moves, and hey nothing beats Christopher Walken dancing. Of course it could possibly be because there were four women dressed like French hookers in the winner video. Apparently skin beats out a creepy man dancing to a funky beat. Oh well�

 In regards to Kid Rock & Pamela Anderson. I can�t help myself. They're like a train wreck. You can't help but watch. And Kurt Loder snorting at their apparent relationship was yummy.

 Brittany Spears. Oh honey. While I listen to some of your songs and am not ashamed to say so, her show, was weak. Obviously she was lip synching, and badly. And even though the outfit she had on was barely there it would of made a sexy Halloween costume. Apart from that, I�m sorry but her song sucked. Goes to show you that skimpy clothes and animals that really had no apparent reason to be there, don�t make the song.

 Amazing how Lil' Kim can actually and amazingly wear clothes. So proud of the girl who kept mentioning oh so subtly that she was from BROOKLYN. But then I saw her wig and I ended up laughing my ass off. Who could of thought you could cut hair and stitch it back on like that?

 Alicia Keys exuded a perfect - "That's Miss Pimp To You" vibe. Me likes. Me really likes. And she can sing too which is amazing compared to the others that were present.

 Macy Gray got away with the dress because she is a total crackwhore. I�m sorry but every time she�s somewhere in person she acts like she�s done every drug in the book and chugged a couple of drinks back. And true to form she was completely fucked already. That�s probably why she has such a scratched up voice.

 Eve apparently believes that the neon fabrics from the 80�s are back in fashion. And by the looks of it they aren�t. And hey if your going to lose weight then you go girl but you might want to rethink the paw tattoos on your tits. They were all over the place.

 I want to be Gwen Stefani when I grow up. Or at least get her make up down pat.

 Was J-Lo wearing a towel for a skirt?

 The poor Backstreet Boys. None of them own a mirror. Had they seen their reflection they too would of laughed as hard as I did. And hey did one of them turn into a chick while I wasn�t giving a shit? And before I forget well la-de-frikken-da you didn�t have a drink. Pass me yours so I don�t have to listen to you babble.

 Tenacious D. My boys. How I love them so. And sure I have a biased opinion but c�mon, who wouldn�t love the comment that Jack Black spewed out: �that�s all your getting byatches�for now!� Love him. Want to be his best friend. Fuck it I want to be his drinking buddy.

 I didn�t even know Michael Jackson was alive. I thought he was stuck in a pod somewhere. Trying to get enough plastic surgery to finally look like the woman he wants to become. But I�ll be damned, there he was, scaring the hell out of innocent bystanders.

 The N�SYNC boys know they are going to lose their 15 minutes soon. Much like The Backstreet Boys don�t. I guess that�s why they tried to pull out the scary plastic man known as Michael. I was actually watching after to see if one of the boys hugs would eventually break him. No suck luck.

 Brittany & Mick Jagger. Oh so sad and pathetic. He didn�t know or care. She tried to kiss up with no such luck.

 The Mudvayne boys suck. I�m sorry. They�re trying to be something they aren�t.

 The Ben Stiller thing was amusing. Not funny, borderline smirk.

 The dog from the Conan O�Brian show was funny. I�m sorry but the whole thing about him wanting to sniff Jennifer L�s ass had me rolling. It would have been a lot funnier had he bitch slapped Carson Daly. I�m surprised Carson didn�t wave his hands around just to show others how he might have dark nail polish on. That is if he was wearing any. Of course someone should let him onto the fact that no one actually made this trend happen.

I�m sure there is more I can say but I think Partygirl & Gingi might have covered other bases for me. Still wouldn�t be me if I didn�t put in my 2 cents.

Later�

p r e v i o u s // n e x t