2001-11-09 | 1:23 a.m.

I was going to stay home tonight. I told myself I was. I don't have much cash to be fooling around with. But then N called and said she was going to watch a movie and she was open to anything. I told her I wasn't sure, that I wanted to save the money I had and just go out Friday night as we had planned.

She was dead set on going to the movie and before I knew what I was doing I was asking her what was playing. (She was standing in front of the movie theatre before heading over to M's house). And so that's why I changed clothes and put on my contacts and some lip gloss. Left the house and went to watch Riding in Cars with Boys.

And I can honestly say I didn't mind spending $10 for it. I like Drew Barrymore and I don't think there has been one movie that's she's starred in that I don't find enjoyable. This one was no less. I really enjoyed it. I liked watching the character grow and dealing with different events in her life. I liked watching Drew Barrymore exceed in the role also. And yes after watching the whole movie I did notice that something was off in a way I couldn't put my foot down. Almost as if the editing had been too choppy and some parts could have been taken down or shifted around. But I still liked it. I still hid a tear at the end. It still struck a chord in my heart.

And so now I'm home and ready for bed. And I've decided on something that will probably change my life when I accomplish it. I am going to write. And I'm not going to imagine things like I had been in the past. The truth of the matter is that I've always been writing stories here and there. But I've never set down in writing the story within me. So that's what I'm going to do now. And while at times I will feel like I might be writing on here for everyone to see, well I won't. I'll be writing something that in the end can be called a book. And that's probably why I deleted everything I ever wrote. Why I feel like I want to start with a clean slate. A fresh new pile of computer paper and write my little soul out. Because if everything I write can come out just as good as my imagination is, well then I'm set. I'll be happy just writing. So yeah, I've found something to do with my time. Instead of clean or make necklaces and t-shirts, I will now sit down and write.

And suddenly everything feels like it's shifted and I've found a right way to go. And I don't know how to explain it further. Because in the end I'm just a girl and it's just going to be words. But they will be my words. And that ladies and gentleman, is a great feeling.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t