18.11.01 | 3:03 p.m.

Maybe I need to pill pop, chain smoke, and drink a lot to erase such thoughts, but godamn Billy B is starting to look sexy, especially now that he's thin. There's a reason for Angelina's attraction, that man has got really nice facial features if you look closely. That, and he looks very interesting and lively. AK though makes me almost cream my pants. That boy is just luscious! Creed on the other hand need to just stop. They're annoying and if I have to see them on my TV screen one more time I am afraid I will have to wish they get anthrax. (No...I'm kidding, I don't want them to get anthrax at all. I just wish they'd stop making music because they really blow big time.)

Ahhh....the things that result from watching SNL last night instead of throwing drinks back like I just don't care.

Having had time to think this weekend I've come to a conclusion. I've known many people that assume all kinds of things about me. And I realize how sad each and everyone of these people are now. How small their lives must be if they spend their time thinking about me rather than themselves. And how small their minds must be to assume me into one label or another when clearly I'm not any they throw my way. I've grown tired of bullshit like this. Because it is clearly bullshit. So I've chosen to not deal with it anymore. If I see it coming my way I'm going to say "sayonara" and walk away. It's best for my mental and physical health. I'm going to surround myself now with nothing more than good karma and good people. The rest can just go screw themselves and pigeonhole each other into categories. Obviously they aren't loving who they are and shame on them. From this day on I'm going to stick to my guns because I know who I am and I love the person I am. And yes I know that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be, but I'm working on it. I'm responsible for who I turn out to be and I know this. Which goes to show you how cool I am. Also goes to show me how others aren't as cool as I thought they were. I know I sound mad cheesy, but I've listened to so much bullshit this past week that after having had time to myself to reflect, I feel a hella lot better now. More centered within myself. So yey for me.

I'm going to end here because I'm going to see H.P. with my brother today and I need to hop in a shower and get ready.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t