2001-12-16 | 6:59 p.m.

Two steps forward. Three steps back. You'd think by now I would know not to play this game. Not to dance with the devil because who knows if he's going to win. But I can't stop myself. The lovely rush of knowing that I've been bad in the best of ways. It's nice in the same way that when you play with fire your fingers get warm when you skim them over the flame. I'll get burnt one of these days, but for the time being I don't think I really give a fuck. For the past month I've been wanting to tell myself it would all be okay and believe it. I believe it now, to some degree, because I'm choosing to believe in what I have. Which if I really think about it, is damn good. And that even though I'm walking on that thin line I can still fall and know it will be all right.

Moving on...

I didn't do anything but read and nap pretty much all day, Saturday. I didn't feel like doing much anyways, since I'm surfing the crimson wave. I never do when I'm on it. I get all flustered for no apparent reason. So I thought it was better for me to stay put. But then the night progressed on and the itch to go out grew and so I scratched it and left the house to meet up with N at the Bowery Ballroom to see

Rival Schools play. It was a pretty good show and they have a lot of fans since it was crammed. After we went to a friend of N's birthday party at a bar close by. Had a few drinks and moved on to another place. Ended up at a place called Plant where M & V met us up. It was an interesting night in the way it usually is when you go to places you've never been and meet interesting people and drink libations. So all in all, good times last night.

I woke up mad late today since I got home at like 5:30 am yesterday. So all I did was bum around the house. I have this party to go to on Tuesday which I might go to, depending on the money situation and if I get a check from unemployment or not. Lately it's been a bit shoddy in regards to coming on time or not. So if I have cash by then which is a possibility I might go. A told me about it and it's supposedly a great party at the Bloom space?! I have no clue where that is but apparently A & G went last year and had a very good time. So you know since I'm a party whore I'm all about that.

Anyways...

I can't even begin to imagine the likes of a "Beverly Hills, 90210: The Next Generation". But surfing through the web today I happened across this. Which means nothing because it's just gossip. (Still it's a scary possibility.) And did anyone else know about the 10 George Harrison things? I didn't. MTV combined with a magazine? I don't know if that's the best thing to do. Do we need another thing to tell us what the best cd, song, singer is? I don't think so.

How cute is this? I could definitely use it in making a cute little bag. Maybe a A-line skirt? Seriously that pattern is really cute. I think I may eventually buy it when I get the cash to do so.

That's it for now.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t