2002-01-07 | 7:58 p.m.

OK you know what? I don't ask for much, I really don't. But what I need now is a job. I'm done. Honestly done with all this worrying about paying bills left and right and making sure that I have just barely enough to cover my ass. I get unemployment which is something. It's a small something but at least it is something. Which I understand and value and appreciate it everytime I do get it. But you know what? I can't live without the structure that a job entails in people's lives. I like knowing that I'm working, that I'm getting money for said work. And it may not mean anything to anybody but it means something to me. I cannot continue the way I've been lately, I have no balance without a job. I really need that balance back. So with this in mind I am hoping and praying something comes through soon. I also sent out another round of resumes and called a few people once again today. Nothing in the horizon right now, which is honestly more sad than frustrating. There's always tomorrow though, so at least I have some hope.

I didn't go to the gym at all today. It was far too cold and I was far too lazy. One day off isn't that bad. Plus I figure I did some grunt work when I was packing and unpacking heavy objects with my friends. So it's all good. I'll just go tomorrow.

Yey! I like being this Gwen because let's face it, blowing people's minds is always fun:

Honestly this is sad. Why would anyone want to keep a primate as a pet? Not cool at all. Really not cool. (And you know what? They aren't supposed to be kept in diapers - fuck that...let them live and be free. This is just cruel & should be stopped.)

Staying at home and looking through my window today I caught a glimpse of snow. Actually more than a glimpse because for a few moments today white flakes hit my window and the street below me and didn't stay. I'm actually glad that the snow didn't stick. Snow in NYC comes in 2 varieties : slush & yellow snow. Neither of which are pretty at all. And it only gets blanketed with snow for a bit because all that white goodness ends up grey or yellow and a pain in the ass to either walk through or around or over. Yep, definitely happy it didn't stick and I'm hoping it won't if it falls again.

I watched Poltergeist yesterday night. It's amazing how such an old movie can still freak me out, especially when it's in the middle of the damn night. There's only a couple of them when I was growing up that scared the hell out of me. To this day I still have to keep all my lights on when I watch Nightmare on Elm Street & any of the Jason movies. The result of this late night viewing means that I stayed up way too late last night and woke up wanting more sleep. Not that it matters because I just curled under the covers after waking up and went back to sleep. Still it would have been more appropriate of me to have been up before 10am rather than stay in bed till 11. Not cool. (At least I still know that I always close my eyes and plug my ears with fingers at all the scary parts. Did it growing up, do it at the age of 25. Can't beat that...looking like a total dork, always good!)

I called the focus group thing today. Hopefully they will call me back so I can be sent out this week or next. Get some extra cash in my pocket. Thus allowing me to enjoy my nightlife and not curb it down to smaller proportions. Because let's face it moderation is never a good word when it comes to a night out on the town here in this city.

Well that's it for today. Nothing much to say as you can see I've babbled on and there's a few tangents all over the place. Oh well...whatever.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t