2002-04-01 | 4:16 p.m.

I�ve realized not to expect much of people. I learnt that lesson not too long ago after having been hurt copious times. I now have to admit it�s probably the smartest thing I�ve ever learnt. If you live your life, and your happy with yourself its what matters. My grandma and mom always told me that if I�m happy with myself, I�ll be happy with the world around me. Which explains a lot lately.

In a conversation over the phone with a friend who is also feeling fed up we talked about packing our stuff up and heading out to Disney world or Disney land to become princess�s. She�d be Cinderella and I�d be Snow White. We didn�t deliberate on the specifics at all which is why about 15 minutes later we gave up on the idea. Besides I would hate to have to be delightful to every brat who came up to me while I was working. That and let�s face it those dresses don�t look very comfortable with all those corsets and petticoats.

The blog has been re-designed. Thought I�d mention it. I�ve also already started to fill it up. I�m glad I have it. Everything that goes in there can be considered fluf and filler. Both of which I don�t want to take up space on here. So yeah, I�m glad I have it.

Last night I watched this thing on the WE channel. I was actually only watching it for the brief moments when GA answered questions. But it got me thinking to when I was a little girl. All the stuff I thought I knew and all the stuff I thought were important really didn�t matter in the long run. And yes while I would still like to pay more attention and not be such a dreamer I am kinda glad I still am. Most people grow out if that because they think they have to be an adult. But I think for a person to be both is still pretty cool. The best of both worlds so to speak. You can be a dreamer and rational at the same time. Everything in moderation works. Anything to the extreme always ends up turning sour. I know one thing though, when I was a kid I used to want to be so much more than what I was then. Always wanting, craving, needing to be so much more. And now. Now I�m comfortable in my own shoes. I know who I am and I may not know where the fuck I�m going but at least I�m not scared to take those steps towards my fate anymore. Because it�ll happen, I just don�t know when, and I don�t need to be anybody else other than me. I can do stuff right and I am not fighting with any sort of image anymore. I�m me, and if you don�t like it � too bad, I don�t want to be anyone else for you.



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