2002-04-23 | 11:56 p.m.

I was told recently by someone I hang out with that the nights out that I have spent with said person and others only "provided me with fodder for my diary website". And let me not forget that said person also believes that the fact that I apparently "showcased" my nights out with said group to be immature. I cannot quite grasp at the words that I wish I could have said to aforementioned person. All I know is this. This is my fucking space. It's my words. I've never named names or given specifics to people I've mentioned of before. Since this is my space and I use a decent amount of censorship towards whatever entry I may write up I don't think anything I may end up writing may seem offensive what so ever. If no names are named then what the hell is the problem? Also I'm shocked by the "fodder for my diary". Since when has MY LIFE out not been fodder for my website? I mention what I do when I go out simply because I'm either enjoying it or because when I'm typing up any damn entry I think something's are humorous, so ergo I mention them.

I'm honestly frustrated and annoyed. Complaints when I go out, complaints when I don't. Hell complaints when I bring different people into these circles to try and stretch them a bit because I got complaints that I don't try hard enough to give to these certain friends. What the hell?! And I love the mention that apparently I'm stingy and don't lay down the cash when going out. If it's one thing I am is not stingy. I match for whatever anyone puts down. And now suddenly I'm being told I've been stingy in the past.

Fuck that. This is why I've become anti-social. This is why I'd rather sit at home and read my damn book. There are way too many haters out there in the world. And watch, just by saying this here I'm sure I'll be getting more hate from said group and others. And once again this is my space to choose to say what I want. And if you look over this entry have I mentioned names? NO!

You know friends aren't supposed to give you drama or stress. And yet this is what I've been feeling from a lot of people out there that I've called "friends" in the past. Part of me thinks, in regards to this website, that I should password the fuck out of it so no one else can get in until I decide they can. But part of me chooses to keep it open. Because the world will always have haters. You just have to know where you stand. What's real and what's not. Who breaks your stride and who doesn't. I'm not running away or hiding. I'm here and I'm not going away at all.

Bring it on.



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