2002-06-02 | 12:44 p.m.

You know I can't believe the fucked-up things we, as a society, put up on a pedestal. Success and its lowest common denominator, mass appeal. How is it that people seem to go for the really obvious bullshit when there's a whole other quality to life. Take for example last night. I went out. I knew what I was up to and I had no intention of doing anything but what I did. What's funny though is that I went out to try and enjoy myself, not to find a man or get me some 'bling, bling'. And yet, looking around a crowded bar I saw so many people looking for just that. What is up with people now a days? I know in the past everyone always hooked up at places like bars and clubs. But it seems as if its started to get more intense. Like people are looking for the love of their lives at these places. And that's sad, because your never going to find the man or woman of your dreams perched on a bar stool looking all dolled up and trying to find the 'catch' of the night. I don't know. It's just so sad and pathetic. When I go out at night I'm not looking for the man of my dreams. I'm going out to party and be silly and have a few drinks and hopefully have a few laughs. Not get my freak on at a bar or grind on the dance floor. I don't know, it's weird. I guess the intensity of it all now a days just shocks me a little.

And you know I think the most rewarding relationships, the ones that last for as long as you can believe they will, are born from friendship, not from a one night stand or a hook up. You'll be friends with the guy or girl and one day you'll look at the person and see more than you did the day before. Almost like a switch was flicked on. And the person

that was just a friend before is suddenly the only person you can imagine yourself with. And maybe that's just my naive romantic way of thinking of love.

Moving on...

I got shitfaced last night. Seriously drinking without notice. I got home and blew chunks like a bulimic after Christmas dinner. It wasn't pretty. And honestly I still feel like ass now. But it's the price I pay. I should have actually ingested something instead of drinking on an empty stomach. Fuck it though, you only live once.

And on that note I'm done.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t