2002-06-13
| 4:01 p.m.
I�m done with feeling like I�m wild at heart and yet caged. I�m only kept in a cage by my own self and not by others. How I managed to get to be such a mess so early in my life I have no clue. But yeah life is tough, shit happens. From dealing with all the shit I learn and grow and hopefully move on. So enough of this self-evaluating myself every birthday. Enough of feeling sorry for myself because I didn�t accomplish something I thought I should have. Instead I am going to make a list of things to do from now on in. Tomorrow I turn 26 and this time around I�m going to do it right, and not think of all the shoulda�s, woulda�s coulda�s! So yeah, on to the list� *Try to never take anything seriously. If I never take it seriously then I never get hurt, and if I never get hurt then I�m just having a good time. *Travel more. Go see Ladiebug and my friend G in LA. Go back to Europe alone and wander around for a bit. Travel within the U.S. too. Check out Vegas and Grace land too, and while I�m at it check out New Orleans. * Stay on the damn diet like I am and do it to the end so that I can lose weight for good this time. * Try to walk more rather than taking a bus, train or cab. * You get many choices in life. Some may be right, some may be wrong but sometimes I�m just going to have to look at all those choices and just make the best one rather than the one that�s right or wrong. (Note to self: make sure I never feel guilty about that.) *Read more. Read at least 5 books a month. * I have a great imaginary world, but sometimes I need things to happen in the real one. I can have my head in the clouds. I just have to remember to plot my feet firmly on the ground too. * Never look back on what I could have done. Always take the leap and do what I want. * The only person I have to answer to is my parents and whatever deighty is up there looking after me. Anyone else doesn�t count. Let people think what they want and never be bothered with the negative. * Start auditioning again. Start writing again while I�m at it. Release the tension I feel by doing both. It worked wonders growing up and I�m pretty sure it�s magic is still applicable to me now. * Know that my parents are always looking out for me but that what may be right to them may not always be right with me. * Always moisturize and use sunscreen, even when it�s a cloudy day. * Pamper myself when I can. Manicures and pedicures are a good way to start but get a facial every once in a while too. * Save more cash from my paycheck. The more I save now, the better I will be in the long run. * Live and love and stop to smell the flowers. Everything is worth something if it teaches me in one way or another. Stop analyzing everything and just free fall into life. It�s to be lived and I should start doing more of it now.
p r e v i o u s // n e x t
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