2002-06-15 | 11:40 a.m.

Never say never.

Last night seemed like a scene from some bad 80's movie. I felt a little like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles. Why you ask? Well no one showed up. No I lie, when I was finishing my second beer Kwazyboy and A showed up. But by then I was just so disappointed that I stayed there till I finished my beer and decided to just go home. They were nice enough to be the only one's that showed up, but at that point I just wanted to go home. Really, good times. That goes to show me to never plan anything, even if it's supposed to be mellow. It also goes to show me who I should and shouldn't consider to be friends. From now on in I'm on a long hiatus when it comes to anyone else but me. I'm honestly fed up with giving so much to other people and in return getting shit. I live and learn though because this is the last time this has happened to me. I vowed to myself to not end up crying on my birthday and that vow was broken yesterday in bed as I cried myself to sleep. And that is pathetic. Really, fucking pathetic. So it's an end to that. It's an end to me giving more of myself than I should. I plan on putting that spotlight back on me and really not giving a toss about anyone else.

I really have nothing more to say. This year my birthday was utterly disappointing. And I shouldn't have tried to plan anything and now I know. I live and I learn. From now on I will just keep myself to myself and really not consider anyone but me. Quite frankly thanks to last night, I now know that everyone thinks about themselves too. Lesson learnt though. Lesson learnt!



p r e v i o u s // n e x t