2002-06-19 | 4:28 p.m.

I'm home sick. Nothing exciting to report apart from my vicious migraine. I think my body is telling me to fuck off, or at least my head is. I guess this is just all the emotions I've been feeling lately boiling over their melting point. It happens. When I get too distraught or way too emotional or let shit really get to me then my head just explodes. I should have known this was coming the way I was on my birthday and the days after. Shit happens, I'll get over it thanks to codeine and ice on my head.

Part of me feels really guilty for calling in sick from work. Technically I'm not sick like dying or anything, I just have a really bad headache. And yeah the only thing that works is me laying down in bed in total darkness with ice on my head but still it's not like I'm dying or something. My boss is so cool though. She's so dope about it, she can totally tell by I guess the tone of my voice. She's like "rest sweetie". She's really cool. I have to admit when I first started working there I thought it was a stepping stone but I really do work with the best people so I'm kinda glad I stayed. And hey the pay and perks aren't bad either.

I haven't talked to anyone who didn't show up to my birthday shinding. I've told myself not to be bothered to call them because they obviously weren't bothered with me. It's been a little weird because I used to talk to certain people all the time and just cutting myself off from them all now is kinda weird. It'll all end up ok, it just feels weird knowing that my social circle has been cut down to bits. Then again what's the use of going out drinking with people who really don't care if your there or not? Besides after having reviewd previous nights in my mind, they all revolve around the same stories, and you know...it's just getting old. It's not like sitting at a bar having a few drinks with friends isn't fun. It's just that I think I've outgrown it a bit. I'm sure I'll do it again with different people down the line, but I'd like to think that I'm growing up a bit more now. That and I'm not afraid to just be me anymore. I kept thinking I needed to adapt to other people but the truth of the matter is that I just need to be happy with me, and everything else will eventually click into place.

I saw a movie yesterday after work with my coworker. We went and say The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys. It was pretty good. I had no knowledge of the film plot wise but I can honestly say I loved it all. I loved the story, the acting, and the animation. Surprisingly the animation didn't take away from the story at all, it only added more depth to the movie. It was so good. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It also didn't hurt that one of the main actors, Emile Hirsch, looked a little like a mini Jack Black, only cuter. So yeah it was a nice way to end my day yesterday, after the piles of work I had completed during the day.

That's it for me. I'm ready to go back to bed and try to stop the pounding in my head cease a little.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t