2002-07-06 | 7:47 p.m.

I'm giving up time and making more of it for myself. I've also cut off contact from many. I'm sitting still and moving fast. I say everything and mean nothing. I've learned the lessons people play in this city. The foolish mind games, the superficial cobwebs. I've come away from feeling blue. It was never a pretty color for me. I think of all those that have hurt me and recognize that it's about respect and manners, and many don't have both here. I came away with the knowledge that to create sheer bliss I can't trust or believe in anyone. They all play their games. I am happy with myself. I like who I am. I never said I wasn't the person who I am. And perhaps this is what get's under people's skin. That I can laugh and be silly. That I still feel like a child inside. I have no shame in who I am unlike the others who obviously have problems, issues, hostility. It's over. I'm done. And I'm taking the time to wash away these stains. I mistook them for being permanent until I realized they washed out clear.

I am so over this heat wave thing. It's 15 minutes of fame are up in my book. If the heat rises any more I will melt. I don't know about the rest of you but I'm sweating in places I didn't even know existed on my body.

I went out to the post office. Mailed out the eBay purchases people had paid for. Then walked around for a bit. Stopped into the Crap and looked around. Bought myself a scoop neck t shirt that can look sexy if I want to and yet still wearable for work. Summer is out in full swing. People are walking around in barely nothing. I'm surprised as in what passes for a shirt let alone pants now a days. This low rise denim trend has got to stop. I don't need to see people's ass cracks when I walk down the street.

Read a review in the paper today about Minority Report. I don't get how many people like this pile o' stink. The review was nothing but blatant ass kissing. Urgh. Granted I thought it was filled with pretty cool gadgets and visuals, but the story line was mediocre and frankly it was kinda borderline boring for me. Still I keep reading so many great reviews that I'm beginning to wonder how dumbed down an American audience can be if they think it's so spectacular. It's quite sad.

I came home not having been able to check out my eyes to see if the contact lens prescprition for my left eye is right or wrong. It's ok though because the right contact lens also works on my left eye so I can work with that (yeah it's a little ghetto, I admit) but that will work for me for another week till I am able to go to the eye doctor. So I came home and was planning on doing nothing till my stomach grumbled and I asked my dad and bro if they had eaten (which they hadn't) so we all headed out to eat somewhere good.

Because my dad is cute and has been wanting to check this place called The Outback out for so long we went there. Let me just say the meat dishes in there are huge. I was barely able to finish my 8oz burger. My brother and dad ate like 20 oz of meat. Talk about meat overload! More like a huge piece of cow on a plate if you ask me. But they said it was good and surprisingly my burger was good too so all was nice. I then decided to drag my dad to walk around for a bit because eating that much and just coming home and vegging wasn't a good idea. So we walked around and he was cute and silly as usual.

I stopped by the wireless place near my home to check out the price for the phone and it ended up being a hella lot cheaper. So I said I 'd come back and thanked him and was almost out the door when my dad started asking him about my phone plan and they ended up talking to an AT&T customer service rep on the phone and before I knew it my dad was like buy the phone - you don't need to pay for it now, pay me next month. I was like whaa? (I have only one credit card now and it's shared with my dad so I just pay him). But anyways it came off as a better deal after my dad explained it to me, especially since my dad scored with a new upgraded plan that now gives me unlimited nights and weekends and hella lot more minutes during the day. Oh and free long distance. How rad is that? So I get's me a much better plan and a spanking new phone. Of course you know I came right home and put up my other phone on Ebay as an auction. All's I'm saying is go look, it's only 6 months old and spanking new. And I say this because AT&T gave me a new phone because the one I had before fell into a toilet and I had insurance and so they gave me a new one. So new phone used 6 months is located over here - and it's a pretty good deal if I do say so myself! So yeah, go look, and bid please!

It's so nice to walk down the streets in flip flops. I can't tell you enough how much I enjoy doing so. Yeah sneakers are a wonderful thing but there's nothing like a good pair of flip flops. Especially when all your doing is lazying about on a Saturday, running errands and not really doing diddly squat. I think I might check out Pumpkin later on today. But it's only playing at the Angelika which kinda sucks since it's a bit of a hassle to go down there. I might just wait it out and hope that it will come out in other theatres. It looks good though, and I like Christina Ricci...even if she looks a tad anorexic now.

I can't believe I have the phone I have been wanting for the past 6 months. I also can't believe my dad was so cool about it. He really rocks. I'm so glad to have him because honestly he really rocks the block. And no, not just because he supports me financially when I can't. He still is the bombdotcom with or without the support - it's the unconditional love peeps. No matter what fuck up I might say or do he is always there and I know it. So he rocks mucho.

I don't know what I will be up to tonight. I don't think much. I know I said I would call E to see what he was up to but I'm not sure I feel up to doing much tonight. I may go out later on though...who knows. For right now I am going to go lay down and nap. That lunch was way heavy on my system. I usually don't eat that much meat so it's just hitting me a little hard. So yeah out for a nap.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t