2002-07-14 | 10:40 p.m.

You know what makes me different also makes me beautiful. And if certain people can't see that then I don't really want to deal with them either. I think it's quite humorous that this weekend, when people I know eventually got back from what they were doing and realized I wasn't around they called and left various messages on my voice mail. Yeah I'm not around anymore, maybe it's because I checked myself and realized that I don't need them. Yeah going out with all of them once in a while was fun, it was some sort of social life. But I'd rather let go of the social life than have to deal with all that superficial bullshit. Plus let's face it after September 11th trying to attain any sort of NYC social night life seems pretty fucking pointless. It's all the same, drinks, dealing with idiots, and spending money. It's not my cup of tea anymore. I'm not sure if it ever was.

My weekend was a total lay low weekend. My mission was to not do much at all. What I came away with was actually trying and doing nothing, nada, zipo, zilch...thus my mission was thoroughly accomplished. All in all a sweet thing. Tomorrow is the start of another work week. Which is fine by me. Usually I am always wishing for more time on Sundays but I think this weekend I caught up with a lot of sleep that was needed and did a few things on my own. I needed this ME time and I got it this weekend. So the week ahead doesn't seem so bad. Of course I'm sure I'll change my mind when tomorrow I'm up and running out the door at 7am and already at work dealing with the piles of paperwork after 8am. Then again it's not that bad because this job is pretty cool.

This week will hopefully not drag on by. I plan on watching the Halloween movie sometime after work this week too. Hopefully on Wednesday because by then I will at least have some cash to play with. Not much but at least I will be able to go see a movie and not freak out to see if I have enough money for the rest of the week or not. (I heart getting paid every week. It's far better than getting paid ever 2 weeks.)

I have a lovely doctor's appointment tomorrow. Oh joy. I love being prodded and poked. Especially when I'm getting weighed in too. Yeah I love getting up on that scale and having the doctor and my mom looking at the scale trying to figure out how much I've lost already. I know I am losing weight because I can feel it with all my clothes. They are loosening around my hips. I can feel slowly that I am losing weight. It's probably all that walking I am doing too. I'm hoping I've lost a little bit more too. I've decided to start drinking Slim Fasts at work instead of eating. They taste like a chocolate milkshake and it can't be all that hard to go without food instead and sip on that drink. Hell I hardly ate at all this weekend. I went without food the whole of Saturday and only ate something today for dinner. I skipped breakfast and lunch much to my mom's dismay. So I'm thinking it all can't be that bad. I'm going to try start drinking them come Monday. By Friday I'll feel it out. If I can stick with it then I'll continue. If not then at least I know I am trying.

And that's it from me.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t