2002-08-08 | 9:43 a.m.

I'm restless for answers I can�t find. Sadness. I am trying to look at stuff differently. Trying to realize that yeah shitty things happen but it doesn�t mean that it won�t get better. A conversation that I was present for the other day at work touched too close to home. A co-worker�s daughter is becoming self destructive and he has to deal with that. And from the first time in my life I think I got a view of what someone else looking in may have felt at the that point in my life. And as much as I swear to myself I won�t ever be there again, I really can�t promise that at all.

Yesterday as I walked home something sparked inside me. I saw something that triggered a memory and this sadness enveloped me. And I tell myself that I can�t give up, that I won�t. I want to believe that I am here to bear witness for the ones without voices. That the more I feel all this sadness is the more I should fight for the life I want to lead. Except that�s sometimes hard to do when you can�t see anything clearly anymore.

This wasn�t supposed to be a sad entry. I�m trying not to ache and putting band aids over the situations. I�m trying to keep moving. Some day�s it�s just harder than others.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t