2002-08-21 | 9:21 p.m.

Do you have any idea how much time I waste on other people? Other people that could give two shits about me? Yep, WAY too fucking much time. I am just done. D-O-N-E! If you want to see me now, then bust a move and come find me. And after I've called people 3 times then it's over for you. You're cut. And right about now, looking around pretty much everyone is cut. Which sucks ass but perhaps its fate telling me they all suck as friends to begin with?

I don't know what lady fate is telling me, all I know is that I'm done feeling like a dillhole. Why am I the one who always calls? Why am I the one who always get's put on the fucking back burner like I'm only important when no one else and their mother can go out with that person? I am fed up with this bullshit. I was torn before, trying to smooth edges all over the place. The truth is if they don't care why should I? Why should I hand out my time and love and friendship to people who clearly could give a rats ass? Seriously what the fuck is wrong with me?

It's come to a point where it's just enough. I've reached my limit. I've tried to be ok with attitudes and flakes and freaky people but you know what? Why should I be? I'm young and I should find down to earth people. Real people. I don't need a pack of idiots fucking me over left and right. I need to get it together and just cut everyone off that's fucked me over like that. I don't need it and I certainly don't need their attitudes. So it's over. From here on in I'm flying solo. The only people I will keep as friends are the two that have called me back and have actually come to me first to find out what the dealio is. Everyone else an fuck it.

The president of the company I work for went to lunch with a bunch of his female staff today, (I being one of the people in the group), and bought us all lunch. I thought it was cool. We shared a nice conversation and had good Brazilian food. It's nice to know that I'm eating a good meal and I don't have to pick up the bill. Always a bonus. Not that he came to do just that but it was nice that he treated us all.

Tomorrow is my Friday. Thank god. On my real Friday I intend to sleep in late and totally chill. I wanted to go see One Hour Photo today but I think I'll either go check it out on Friday or sometime during the weekend. I would have gone to seen it today but I just wanted to come home and relax.

And that's that...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t