2002-08-30 | 6:07 p.m.

1. How is it that Johnny Knoxville looks like poor white trailer trash and yet I'd still like to do him good? I mean is that just me or does anyone else think he's yummy in a 'I don't give a flying fuck' kinda way?!

2. I find it totally retarded that Nas was rapping about peace and love in his hip hop and then Ja comes out and screams murder with Ashanti. Yeah we all get you're giving props to your record "family" but damn did it look retarded.

3. Britney / Christina: dressing like Hookers from the Point will not distract us from how irrelevant you have both become. Note to Christina: no matter how mych tanning solution you put on or how many braids you put in your hair you're not black. Give it up you skank. Note to Britney: looking like the first female member of the Village People isn't cool either.

4. Jimmy Fallon is and forever will be my boyfriend.

5. The Vines and the Hives got to play part of their song's as some sort of competition, but call me crazy - they sound the same. And I've heard their style before. They, like The Doves, Strokes, White Stripes, are all carbon copies of copies. It's sad to see when people deem them to be "fresh" and "up and coming" when they are just copying musicians from the past who actually birthed the styles they are so desperately trying to copy. That said I'm done with my little rant on those bands.

6. Michael Jackson IS the scariest man in show business. He talks about how he remembers beinga little boy - does he remember being black too? Because clearly he's neither now.

7. I'm happy for Mary J. Blige winning an award, because that CD of hers is damn good. You know she put her heart into it, but damn those tears were just too fake for me to believe they were anything but a stunt.

8. Avril what's her name needs to die. I hate her. No, no...I abhore her. It looks as if Hot Topic threw up on her. I want to strangle her with one of her 'ohsopunkrockcool' wannabe ties. I'm surprised Simon from that American Idol show just didn't shove that award up the girl's bum. She's horrendous. Plus someone needs to put her hair in a ponytail or something so that she can see me slapping the hell out of her stupid face. But then again she did win best new artist which we all know is the curse of all curses so I guess there is hope in some way that she may never be seen again.

9. Carson Daly is still a tool no matter what.

10. I don't doubt that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen will be in soft core porn with liek Jenna Jameson in a few years. And what's up with their voices?

11. Eminem is just getting old. He's embarrassing himself. The attitude that guy has, after having his career handed to him on a silver platter, is disgusting. Now he has some beef with Moby? I guess I missed that. He's being such a retard and yes we all know you love your daughter but you still want to cut your wife up into pieces or shoot her in the head and that's fucked up. So is wanting to be black when you're a whiter shade of pale.

12. What the hell was Michelle Branch wearing (It looked like some sort of Mexican restaurants table cloth) and isn't she too young to be more drunk than Pink?

13. Shakira needs to a) stop shrieking, and b) stop robbing Brazil out of their beats and playing it off like it's from her country. She's not Brazilian - wake up and smell the coffee. And what she's doing isn't just shaking her hips people. It's called samba, most Brazilians know how to do exactly what she does from the day they first encounter carnival. It's not a talent - ask Gisele Bundchen who's just a model and I can guarantee you that she can shake her hips exactly the same. (Eep! Went on a rant. Sorry I just get annoyed by her. There are a lot of other people who are better than she is at singing. Just check out Daniela Mercury and you'll see what I mean.)

14. The return of Triumph the Dog. My grin was from ear to ear. And shame on Eminem for not wanting to play along. What a friggen pussy.

15. P Diddy's music bit was just too plain. I mean couldn't he have just added a few more remixes on his little music stint? Seriously there's just not enough remixing out there. Plus how many people does it take for him to remix his ass around? Does he need to bring out his whole entourage of peeps out on that stage so he can try to prove he's some sort of rap god? The man may be rich but me thinks he needs a big old hug.

16. Singer/Songrwriter Jennifer Love Boobage? When the hell did this happen? I mean when was she considered this? I'd like to know. and I wonder who considers her that because I consider her a dumbass.

17. The Guns N' Roses bit at the end was embarrassing even though I shook my head back and forth when I heard Axl do the first couple of lines to Welcome to the Jungle. It couldn't be helped though, it's based on instinct. But the guy with the KFC bucket with the phantom of the opera mask was just plain too freaky. Also I wonder what crack pipe they put down before they started playing at the end because seriosuly what the fuck was up with that shiznit?

More could be said but I think I'll let everyone else say it.

Later...



p r e v i o u s // n e x t