2002-09-13 | 10:52 p.m.

The words reverberate through my speakers and in my head: "Don't ever let life pass you by." I'm left standing with a broken heart with a mouth full of silent words. My eyes burn with tears that want to start and never stop. I've stopped looking at the news. It only scares me more. I don't know if USA will begin war or not. I'm scared either way. Part of me wants to pack up all my shit and get the hell out of New York City. Part of me realizes this is my home and I won't leave. So I'm torn. And all I see is madness and I wonder when all of it will end. I am tired of feeling so wound up. With every moment I feel like I could explode. This can't be good for my mental or physical health. I wish someone could tell me that everything will be alright in the end but no one can. No one knows for sure. I'm scared and I just don't know what to do anymore.

This past week was very hard for me, as I'm sure it was for many New Yorkers. I'm glad the day is over but I am also cautious and doubtful of the future. I don't know what else to say. Everyday I feel as if I am trying to scream but its as if there are cotton balls in my mouth and the harder I try the more the screams won't get out. Some days it becomes harder than others.



p r e v i o u s // n e x t