2002-12-24 | 8:57 p.m.

Things with my father have been getting better. We argued a few days ago and in anger he told me to go fuck myself. Today when I got home he came to me and apologized. Like a child I didn't accept his apology until I was ready which was a few hours ago. On my terms. He is going to let go of the reigns when it comes to my finances as he was taking care of them. But we were continuously butting heads and fighting. All he says is that he wants me to pay off my debt - which is what I have been trying to do all along.

Now that I am going to take control of it all it seems like a massive task. But I think and hope that I'll be able to manage. I mean I make money and it's not a vast amount but it's going to have to do to pay my bills. So I will make it happen. I will sit down this weekend and map it out and seriously be an adult about this shit because if not I know it will make me crazy. I dream of a time when all my paychecks come to me and no bills. And that will happen one day if I pay of all this stupid debt off. Which I will do, even if it fucking kills me.

So we sat down and had a family Christmas eve meal as we have always done. Simple but nice and we even managed to laugh and be silly. Took a few photos with my digital camera and with my brother's. Most of which I'm sure are too silly to send to family back home since when my brother has that camera of his in hands turns out to be a retard and takes stupid pictures. (Things like me drinking out of a straw and my mom's hair. Really who wants stuff like that?) But I took a few nice and normal one's that I'll send to my uncle and granny.

I'm going to watch telly in bed. Apparently if I don't get into bed soon my brother is threatening me with Nyquil. You'd think he was still 8 years old. He does this every Christmas. He says the sooner we all get into bed the sooner that Christmas will come and we can all open our presents. Mind you I wouldn't have a problem if I waked up say noonish but my brother will be waking me up at probably 5:30 or 6am tomorrow so I better get into bed while the going gets good.

I hope everyone has a merry Christmas!



p r e v i o u s // n e x t